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Ok, I’m bored so here is a really funny story.

My mom works at a catholic convent in West Roxbury. She is an Episcopalian, so that alone in the context of catholic nuns, is gonna make for some amusing stories. I used to work at a group home for kids in DSS custody who had been taken away from their parents because of abuse, neglect, substance use, sexual abuse, serious behavioral problems, etc. Apparently, convents aren’t much different. Mom told me that many of the nuns have some pretty acute mental health issues. She also said a good number of them should prolly be placed into an assisted living program that is way more structured than a convent. Things get really interesting when the really kooky nuns don’t take their medication as directed. Stories I’ve heard include:

-A nun getting barred from driving the convent van to the grocery store for food. Apparently she was pulled over a number of times for “drag racing”. She has since had her license suspended.

-A nun assaulting a police officer after being caught shoplifting.

-On a Monday when Mom went into work after the Mother-Superior-types had gone away for a conference she (my mom) noticed 3 Domino’s Pizza boxes, and 3 cases of empty Budweiser cans in the trash. Looks like the nuns had a little party while Queen Bee was gone.

-One nun getting a restraining order out against another nun after a series of fist fights over where a crucifix was to be placed.

But here is the best one…

My mom was under the assumption that ever sister who was part the “order” (disorder?) had keys to all of the buildings on the convent. She was mistaken. One day when she had to bring something to convent’s catacombs she asked a nun for the key. The nun said, “Oh, only Sister Megan (the head nun) has that key now.” My mom asked why. The nun responded, “Oh, dear, haven’t you heard the story of Sister Veronica and Sister Jane” (while making the sign of the cross on her body)? My mom said “No”. The nun pulled her into some ‘private place’ and then told her these two nuns;

“Sister Jane was very, very old and frail. She was nearing death. Her best friend, Sister Mary, had died the year before. Jane said that when she died, she wanted to be placed in the catacombs next to the remains of Sister Mary. However, this wasn’t possible because spaces next to Mary were occupied with the remains of other late nuns. This troubled Sister Jane terribly. She often complained about it to a very large, middle-aged sister named Veronica. Sister Veronica was a troubled woman. She was from an Italian family that had ties to the mafia in some way. She came to the order to escape that life, but was still very rough around the edges. Veronica took a liking to Sister Jane because Jane reminded Veronica of her mother. One day Sister Veronica told Sister Jane that she would personally make sure that her dying wishes (to be placed next to the remains of her best friend) would be carried out. Veronica told Jane “Oh, that’s no problem we can just move someone over a few spaces and then your all set. No problem”. They snuck into the catacomb one night after everyone was asleep. Sister Veronica started her process of “just moving someone over” when she fell backwards into a 4-foot hole that had been dug by a construction company which was doing drainage work in the catacomb. She took the moved remains down with her. Sister Jane was far too small and weak to get big-boned Veronica out of the hole herself, so she had to go wake up some other nuns to help. In the process of doing so, the head nun also found out what was going on. They all tried to get Veronica out of the hole, but were unable to do so, so they had to call the fire department. The fire department got Veronica out of the hole, but refused to touch the remains. The department of public health had to come and investigate the matter. Catacomb keys were taken away from all the nuns, and Sister Veronica and Sister Jane were only allowed to talk to each other in the presence of a 3rd nun."

-chr|s sedition
 

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Chris Sedition said:

-One nun getting a restraining order out against another nun after a series of fist fights over where a crucifix was to be placed.
-chr|s sedition
Thats funny!!!!!

I love cooky religious stories. Anyone go to a jashiva(sp?)?
 
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