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A continuation from the "seriously off-topic" thread from hell....
(continue this story and see where the room takes it...)

It was a dark, stormy night, when the roar of the motorcycle shattered the quiet sounds of the foggy, ink-black night. The sinister leather-clad rider gunned the engine and sped towards the shadowy figure racing towards the parked Mercedes in the deserted parking lot. As the mysterious woman franticly fumbled with the keys the motorcycle quickly closed the distance between them, coming upon her like a relentless steel dog from hell......
 

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... The wispering sound of the speeding vehicle clouded her senses. The headlight made it so that nothing could be seen. The motorcycle grew closer and closer until it was a few inches away from impact then... There was nothing. No sound, no lights, and no impact. The bike seemed to just vanish...

(continue from here)
 

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............she suddenly awoke from her slumber, sweat running down the sides of her face. She could not believe that she had had the same nightmare again. She remembers all too well what had happened 2 years ago, and the horror has not lessened, but grown as the time slips ever so slowly by. She wonders every night if these visions will flee her, and she is reminded daily that they will not..........

(continue here)
 

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So she gets out of bed, and puts her slippers over her two feet with the 7 toes each, being carefull not to scrape the big boil on the second big toe of her right foot.

She then procedes to go downstairs to the kitchen and makes herself a bowl of corn pops with extra sweet-n-low, and a can of Fosters...

(continue here)
 

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All at once she feels the oddly familiar twinge of pain at the base of her skull. It's real pain but it strikes her almost like deja.....

She wakes up to find herself dressed in a waitress's uniform standing in a phone booth. She blinks and realizes that the telephone receiver is in her blood covered hands. She hears a distant voice in the phone saying..

(continue from here)
 

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"This is Bill Clinton.. that was just a taste of what Ill do to you if you tell the truth before the grand jury.. we've already kidnapped your children...."

The phone hung up.. followed by her fainting.......
 

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...when she awoke, she realized that she was no longer in the phone booth. In fact, she must be miles from any phone at all. She started to make out her surroundings. She was lying on her side on the ground. Or was it ground? Was it sand, or soil, or...

(continue)
 

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Suddenly she realizes:

"Oh my God! This is J-E-L-L-O!!"

How did she end up in a vat of Lime Jello at the Jello factory anyway? Where were all the workers?....
 

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... Suddenly she became aware that she was not alone. A horrible stench wafted through the air. Standing before her was a sinister, potbellied figure. His arms and legs were covered in a matted, purple fur. His soft underbelly was bright green. Through the putrid mist of halitosis and Jello powder she could barely make out his slobbering face. It was the evil Dr. RCJohn!!!

(continue)
 

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John had an evil laugh as he was standing next to his mammogram machine....

(continue)
 

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...Suddenly, a light but firm voice is heard..."wake up Miss Neo..." She blinks and the scenery changes again. A motorcycle streaks in her direction, coming closer as every second passes. The rider brakes hard to her side an dismounts his trusty steed. Their eyes meet..........
 

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.....And the rider introduces himself, "Hi Miss campbell, Im Kyle"
She blushes and nearly faints. Kyle catches her in his arms and lowers her gently onto the beach blanket....
 

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...But alas, as Kyle smothers the woman with sloberring GPC and Boones flavored kisses, he realizes in horror it is actually RCJohn in drag....
 

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(laughing as I type this....oh boy...)

...The shock is almost too much for Kyle as RCJohn speaks sweet nothings into Kyle's ear.."Oh, I was hoping you were Pete, but I guess a little Hondanut will do....come here you stud muffin......"
Before poor Kyle can get away, he finds himself handcuffed...............



(you guys are a trip BTW:D)
 

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...with his pants around his ankles. John says "I gonna make you squeeeeeeeal like a pig"....

(continue)
 

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At the sound of John squealing Tristan bursts from the bushes! You can't imagine the horror! Kyle closed his eyes tight and tried to cover his ears, but to no avail. When Tristan sets his mind to spankin' a pig the sensory overload for anyone unlucky enough to be nearby is total and overwhelming. Kyle crawls away and slips into the crashing surf. When he returned to shore farther down the beach.....


(We all have too much free time!):D
 

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...a much lovelier figure is there to greet his eye. Heidi Klum? She must have been here on a Sports Illustrated swimsuit shoot! The light has faded and all of the crew and other models have gone. Kyle finds himself alone on the beach with Heidi, the burning pain in his newly explored orifice is only a vestige of what it once was. Perhaps he should...

(continue)
 

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...ignore the man from 'Recall' who is trying to convince him he experienced a Schitzoid Embelism and he really strapped down in the Recall Offices while they try to bring him back... and he should take this pill to help him come back...
 
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