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Discussion Starter #1
Okay heres my deal,

I am a 21 yr old college student. This summer I thought it would be a blast to get a motorcycle and it would also be functional because i could ride it to class (no parking at UF). I took the MSF course got my license, and bought a bike. All this I did without my parents knowing because (1) the payments are low (2) i would be able to pay it off by myself in two years (3) im not using any of their money to fund it.

I didn't tell my parents because I knew my mom would freak out, but my dad would probably be okay w/ it since he flew helicopters for the last 30 years.

So my dad is a dispatcher and he ran a check on my name (in like a police system) and it came up w/ my car and my kawasaki registered under my name...i knew there was a small chance he would do this and find out...but hell i was willing to take the chance.

So sure enough today i get a call from my mom and she is all pissed off and distraught about me riding a motorcycle and she pretty much wants me to get rid of it, or i can't come home. I even asked if i could have a scooter perhaps but she is totally against that as well.

I'm wondering if anyone has faced a similar situation and can help me out.

im financing the bike, and have had it since may, so if i get rid if it i dont know how i should go about it, just sell it to someone else or take it back to the dealer.

Im debating keeping the bike and living w/ the reprocussions, but i'd like to go home for thanks giving and christmas this year.

the only reason my mom is so agianst it is because she isees it as EXTREMELY dangerous to be on the road w/ it when alot of people can't even drive cars.

i'm in quite the pickle right now and would appreciate some other perspectives on the situation...i don't want to say goodbye to the lovely green bike in my avatar :(
 

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How old are you? Prepared to pay for college by yourself? Questions you need to answer, not us.

My mom was similar. I broke my arm going to the bank (bicycle accident) to get the $$ to buy my first bike (78 Yamaha XS400). I bought the bike anyway, and when I came into the house (this was a muggy hot July evening), she took one look at the situation, and told me to ride the bike to the hospital.

A year later she was cool about my next bike, a 77 KZ900 (much better motorcycle, btw). I used my Pell Grant to buy it.

After that bike was wrecked (an a-hole college student drove across a divided highway without looking), she was all freak-out for about a week. I bought another (78 KZ1000) the next spring.

I've had my last bike for 16 years when I wrecked it last month. Mom was all "Havent you learned - what about your wife and children". She shut up when I told her I had worse injuries in highschool playing football (and the time I got hit by a thrown baseball bat when I was third base coach).

Moms don't let go. If you're old enough to buy the bike, you're old enough to own it. If your parents disapprove, they can shut off the college support. This would mean you get a job and go in debt to your eyeballs for student loans, and probably not pay them off until you're 30.

So, how much is the bike worth to you?

My answer was plain. My mom still wants me (and my whole family) home on Christmas (it's freaking expensive to fly the five of us 2500 miles at Christmas). I'm still paying for that first bike, in a way.


cdma2k
 

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I can see it a as being rather tough, on you, if you are living at home full or part-time & if your parents are helping with your college expenses.

Living at your own pad & at no expense to your parents on the above two would be a different matter.

My parents had no choice as the old m/c was sitting in our garage (another story as to how it was there & being mine) & I never did go to college plus paying for my board & room from 17 yrs of age to even nursing them in my home till they passed away at 87 yrs of age in both cases.
 

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I "kinda" have the same problem as you, i have a bike, but its an older one, and i want to jump up to a CBR or something or other 600cc bike, my mom doesnt like that too much, not about the money cuz i could make the moeny in maybe a year, but she says she has an erie feeling about a bike that you lay down on.. LOL! so i just tried to produce facts about why they would be an ok bike.. She has asked "isnt that uncomfortable", and i say yes it can be but so is sitting on a cruiser either way your back will hurt after a while... ok 1-0 in favor of ME

2) How big of a bike are we talking?? Oh, just a 600cc(current bike is 750) hA! i got her here, she thinks all bikes are the same except for engine size.... dad walks in, she asks how fast a 600 of today is, dad says faster then the 1100cc's of my bikes era...... SHIT!! they got me.. :(
 

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Well, you could join a racing club at the nearest track, and turn this into a dad--son activity for weekends (more like spend a month preparing for one weekend).

I'd play up how safe it is on the track, controlled environment, etc, the glamor of the sport if you're good enough, etc.

How this would increase your skills and decrease your need for speed on the street.

Worth a shot.


cdma2k
 

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Discussion Starter #6
thx for input so far

but i think im gonna have to get rid of it:( , i feel so shitty right now...:barf:
 

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Listen to your mom

From the looks of your Avtar (BMW, right . . paid for by your daddy?) and your college probably paid for by your daddy? . . . I think you owe it to your mom to get rid of the the bike and wait til your on your own.
 

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I had the same situation as you. My dad knew I was getting my bike and when my mom found out she flipped. She threatened me that if i brought it home she would slash my tires, and if I did have it I wasnt coming home. So I did what any logical 21 year old would do, I still got it. I took it home and guess what, she didn't slash my tires. No mom in good mind would disown her son over a freakin bike, don't let them fool you.
She got used to it and when I was gone on day my dad said that he saw my mom even sitting on it!! Your 21 years old and old enough to choose what you want to do especially if you are doing all the financing on it. The main thing is just to appologize for not telling her earlier about it and explain the MSF course you took. I think that any Mom who learned about the course would feel better about it. Good Luck and I hope you keep the bike. I know how shitty you feel!

PS..don't tell her how fast it is, just tell her it is a starter bike!
 

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How about another option,

Keep the bike, but stop riding it. Un-register it, and get a certificate of non-operation (or whatever they call it in that state), then un-insure it. Keep making the payments on it. Your mom will be happy because you are no longer riding a motorcycle. By the time you graduate, you'll have your bike all paid for, and good to go. It'll be sad looking at it in the garage (or storage unit, or whatever) and not being able to ride it, but you'll have the satisfaction of a Win-Win situation. You keep your bike AND you go home for Christmas and Thanksgiving.

With it not street legal, it might encourage you to seek out track time, which is a much safer way to ride anyway.

We've all had down time, where we've had to look at our bikes and not ride them (I'm in one now). Its a fact of life.
 

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That sucks! I'm 21 too, up here in G-Ville as well, My mother was so pissed the day I brought my interceptor home 2 yrs ago! She was glad when I got rid of it. She said If I ever got another bike id be moving out that day! LOL

Lucky my dad is cool with me riding and is on my side. But when I got my GSXR I had to hide it from my mother for months at friends house until I moved up here to Gainesville and had a garage of my own to kept it in. To this day everyone in my family knows but my mother, she thinks I take the bus to school.

So I can totally understand where your coming from on this. I know your mom is pissed, but what about your dad? Is he equally against it? If not maybe he can help you out with your mom.

Maybe you could just tell them your sorry, and that your going to sell it ASAP, put on AD in cycletrader for them to see, and just tell them that no one has offered to buy it still. Mean while you can keep riding it.
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
wholly shit kevlar, thats the best idea i've heard yet

i think im gonna go that route, to unregister it and just use it for track days

im seriously gonna consider that :p

and no my "daddy" doesnt pay for my college or my bmw and no im not gonna go into that, its more of a moral dilemma than anything else, my mom doesnt want me to ride it on the road...im gonna ask her how she would feel if i just rode it at [email protected]?

somehow i think she'll still be pissed...just not as much

im gonna work the situation over, cause i really dont want to get rid of the bike...has so much sentimental value since it is my first one
 

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Tough situation

Damn, I really feel bad for you (and everybody else who's been in this situation)! :( I never realized how lucky I am to have grown up in a motorcycle family...in fact, my parents met at a Speedway race in Orange County, CA. I guess it's all relative 'cause I can't get away with a single bit of B.S. They've been riding longer than I've been alive....they also know too well the dangers of riding and are probably more protective/cautious than most parents, but they would never force me to get rid of my bike.

I'm gonna go w/ the others that have already replied and agree that you should turn it into a track bike, take it off the street, and explain to your mom the benefits of doing so. Take her (and your dad) to a trackday and let them see how safe and organized it is. Let them speak to other riders who agree with them that riding on the street is dangerous, which was the reason they started riding on the track. Let them see that tracktime will make you a better (better = safer) rider. Show them that you love riding, but you want to be as responsible and "adult" about it as possible. Personally, if there was a track closer to me I would have made the jump from street to track-only a long time ago.

It's a sad day when your parents force you to get rid of your bike, but as the old saying goes, "Their house, their rules." So if you aren't ready to move out and pay your own way at least show them that you respect their wishes and are willing to adjust your lifestyle to make them happy.

Good luck!:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
that's whats so fucked up, i have my own place in gainesville (they live in southwest FL)

i feel like my rights are being [email protected]?

im gonna tell them i'll turn it into a track bike for said reasons above, if they don't go along w/ that...i'll do it anyway, that's what i planned on doing w/ my bike eventually anyway...sux cause i want to ride it to campus still

its crap, the only reason im in a pickle is i have to go home this week to pick up a laptop i ordered
 

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similar advice

Kyle asked/posed a similar question a few months back. I suggested that he just prove to his parents that he could be responsible with it--no accidents, no tickets, no stupid stuff. Mom + Dad just want their son safe and motorcycles are commonly misconstrued by those who have not had them.

If you are floating your own financial boat, you are truly on your own. Show your folks you can be an independent thinker AND a safe rider. Hold your ground and live YOUR life.

Make Mom proud!

I seriously doubt you could argue/justify riding on a track to be any safer IN THEIR MIND.

:2cents:
 

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Ok,

Since you posted here asking for advice, I'll give my 2 cents and this is in NO way a judgement against you or your mom.

You are 21 years old and living in your own apartment. If you are not taking their money then it is none of their business what you do with your cash. She can give her opinions, but to try to force your hand by telling you that you can't come home unless you follow her commands is not right.

If you let her make your decisions for you now, when will you get to make your own? 25, 30, 40 years old?

I never had my mom threaten me like this, but my best friend from high school did. His mom dictated every decision that he made. If he stood up for himself then she would eventually resort to tears and the whole guilt trip thing. Here it is 20 years later and he lives where she wants, he went to the college that she wanted him to go to and it interfered in his marriage enough that it was one of the main factors in his divorce.

I'm sure that your mom isn't the extreme head case his is. ;) , but at some point you need to stand up and be your own man. If she gives you ultimatums, then don't go home for Christmas one year. She'll only be hurting herself.

Again, this is only my opinion, based on the bad experiences of someone that I had to watch crash his life because his mom couldn't let him go out and be his own man.

Later,
Eric
 

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i have to agree with Hawkman on this one.

There comes a time when a man (and woman) must "leave the nest" and start making decisions on their own. The decisions you make now and through out your life will make you into who you are. If you fall back onto the "mommy don't like it", you are not becoming your own person but a molded puppet of what and who your mother wants you to be.

You need to be yourself. At 21 years old, you are legal to drink, legal to vote (3 years for you now), legal to enter into contracts (3 years for you now), etc... Society as a whole sees you as an adult capable of making your own decisions. You took the MSF and that shows some responsibility. to that i give you a big :thumb: .

as far as tracking your bike only, don't drop the insurance. odds are it'll go down there and you'll need to keep it insured as a rrquirement of the financial debt agreement you made with the bank.

Its time to step up and be the man YOU are, not the man your mom wants you to be.

and as far as your dad? if he was my dad, i'd give him the "what for" on the records check he ran on you. i don't know the legal implications behind it but if i am not mistaken, each time a check is performed a number comes up so if you ever get pulled over it'll indicate to the cop how many times a records check had been performed on you. i might be wrong on this, but i'm pretty sure thats how it works here.

so in short...leave the nest little bird and learn to FLY!!! Be yourself and not who someone else wants you to be.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
right now im pretty busy w/ school and paying the insurance on it has been breaking my back, i decided to concede and am gonna get rid of the bike...

i know its dangerous to ride on the road, i was willing to take that chance as long as my mom didnt know...now she knows i would feel pretty bad goin against her so im just gonna get rid of it since the only reason i really had it was to ride to class and have fun on the road...i am gonna graduate w/ a finance degree in may and hopefully i'll start grad school in June which will send me overseas and only take one year to complete...when i finish that and get a job im gonna get a bike, join a track club, and race on weekends...

This summer was a blast learning about motorcycle's and riding mine. the memories will more than hold me over for the next year or two. I'm keeping my gear so i don't have to purchase any for my next bike

i know it makes me seem like a huge momma's boy pussy, but right now im not totally financially independent...i pay for my apartment, car, bike, and school (100% tuition scholarship) but my parents help me out when i get in a bind w/ cash (they just bought me a laptop that i have to go get this weekend...doh)

so...i was gonna take my bike to the dealership today...but cant cause they are closed on sun-mondays so at least i have it for one more day
 

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FMAN_DTF said:
that's whats so fucked up, i have my own place in gainesville (they live in southwest FL)
If you have your own place, and you make your own payments for rent/bike/car, what is your dilemma?
 

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Hawkman is so correct if you are independent & striving on your own. Then what you do is at you decision.

My parents saw me compete in a few dirt comp events & it shook the 'ell out of them, but not once did they say I should not ride or compete on m/cs. Neither had ever ridin a m/c in their lives so not a m/c family. It should have been harder as I was the only child they ever had & that is when parents try to steer their one child, but not so in my case & we did not hassel over matters. I know they were let down that I did not marry & so no grandchildren but never a complaint. Often I lived with them & payed my share or they lived with me & reason I said earlier that I ended up nursing them to the last few days of their death.
 

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Overseas riding

Hey, maybe you can resume your street riding overseas. There are many interesting models in foreign countries that are often not available here. If you will be studying in Europe, motorcycles are a GREAT way to get around. Motorcycles are much more common and widely accepted. The car drivers there are better skilled and watch out MUCH more for motorcyclists.

I doubt that dear old dad's snooping systems are plugged into foreign vehicle/driver databases!
 
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