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Resident Smart Ass!
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First off, let's keep this ON TOPIC!

with that said.....


What are your thoughts on dating someone much younger than yourself (12-16) yrs in age difference.


And for you sick bastids, that doesnt mean Tippmann gets to date a 5 yr old.

I have a buddy that is 33 and is dating a 19 year old, but she is a mature 19 not a materialistic one. He feels weird about the age gap, but is in love with her.

How would you guys and gals handle it?

I am looking your views on generation gaps, physical stamina, public opinion,maturity, common interests,..... personal experiences if they have any?

How would you feel about outsiders and how they see it?

Thanks! :thumb:
 

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I think a 19 year old and a 33 year old is fine, and that their relationship is their business and as long as they are happy, go for it.

But I will say that I think most women go through a major life change between the ages of 18-23, usually college-age. A lot of growing up is accomplished, a lot of life-altering circumstances happen. Just something to think about.
 

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Spicerke makes an excellent point, IMO. It can't work out unless both parties are at a point where they 'know who they are', to borrow a tired hippy cliche.
It's not so much about the number of years of the gap, but about where the parties are as far as developmental progress.
That said, IMHO, anybody who seeks out someone who is a lot older than they are *MAY* have some issues. These things don't exist in a vacuum, it's not like "Oh, well, love is blind, can't help who ya love, blah blah blah."
From what I've seen and heard on the issue, people, particularly women,(not all, but a good deal of them) who have relationships with much older people tend to have a few issues, maybe with daddy, maybe with something else. (Before you call me an old square and flame me, remember, I said "*MAY*", and "not all")
IMO, It is also pretty difficult for folks with this big a gap to have similar experiences, or interests, for that matter. What do a 33 and 19 year old really have in common? A hobby, a TV program? From my own limited experiences, relationships both with 'buddies' and romantic interests tend to be most rewarding when people are of relatively similar age. There is just a lot more for you to talk about, and the experiences of the parties have probably been similar, having grown up in the same era.
As far as public opinion, I don't see that as an issue. Society is so packed with 'free thinking free spirits', I don't think anyone would give you flak over it, except maybe fundamentalist radicals.
The other thing is: What does "mature 19 year old" mean? IMHO, that's kind of like when people say "I'm a sexual person" to justify acting out sexually, or philandering. A 19 year old can only be *so* mature. There is definately a 'maturity ceiling', especially for folks under 21. These sorts of labels are cop-outs so that people can act as though the mold was broken when they were made, and the world just doesn't work that way. People want to act like they can't help where they are in life, when in reality, your situation is a direct result of your actions, or in some cases, reactions.

In proofreading this post, I realize that I sound like an old-time square uber-conservative. Ah well, what're ya gonna do? I can't help it, they broke the mold when they made me.;) ;)
 

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Tell him to run and never look back. It never works out. They gotta grow up first.
 

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Strength and Honor
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There's seemingly two angles here that have been suggested.

1) Personal lives are just that, personal. And the majority of people probably don't give a rat's patootie what the age separation except where legal statutes come into play.

2) The likelihood it will work out seems small. Her you, inexperienced age automatically suggests she has quite a bit of growing up to do, regardless of her "maturity".

I think I agree with both, but can't think of any personal acquaintences that fit so the second point seems to be total supposition (though logical, in hindsight). As long as the elder party recognizes the reality of major life shifts in her age group and he's willing to risk that, why not?
 

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I am weary of a 5 year difference much less 14. If she was in her mid 20's at least, It might be a different story.
As for passing opinion, Its their buisness, not mine.

Sidewaysducati:
What Kind of issues do men who seek older women have?
 

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I see no problem with the dating aspect. But I would have to look down the road. How will a 50 year old woman feel when her husband is 65? What if they decide to have kids. How will that be on them?

I don't see a problem with the dating though.
 

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Tippmann said:
I see no problem with the dating aspect. But I would have to look down the road. How will a 50 year old woman feel when her husband is 65? What if they decide to have kids. How will that be on them?

I don't see a problem with the dating though.
Dating ------ pronounced "fucking" as used above.:twofinger
 

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That huge of a age difference then someone has a problem.. I would have to agree with the majority that the 19 yr old just needs to grow up.. I dont seem to figure out what the 33 yr old is doing with her.. It can be her daddy for god sake..

I donno maybe im just a little outta hand but i would say anything over a 10 yr old difference in age then somethin is goin wrong..

I gotta give dibs to the 33 yr old for tappin that though!
 

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My take, as a clothesline psychologist....



Her...Daddy didn't pay enough attention to her when she was growing up..



Him...He's "poaching".....or looking for a trophy for bragging rights...



I will BET MONEY that it won't work out... :-|


Flame away..... :)


Jimmy G
 

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jimmyjr said:
My take, as a clothesline psychologist....



Her...Daddy didn't pay enough attention to her when she was growing up..



Him...He's "poaching".....or looking for a trophy for bragging rights...



I will BET MONEY that it won't work out... :-|


Flame away..... :)


Jimmy G

I SECOND THIS NOTION!!!!!
 

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Ouch

I am 27 and recently broke up with my 18 (now 19) year old girlfriend. 19 is too young for a serious relationship, which is what I realize I want. She seemed to want it to, and she was damn cute, but she is totally immature. She thinks she isn't but, dayum. Only 8 years difference here, but it was insurmountable. My heart is messed up enough that I am out of the dating game for a while.

My dad's 3rd wife was 16 years younger than him. He was 35 and she 19 when they hooked up. They were together almost 13 years before it ended. Who knows what's right. It did seem a tad weird. If I went to the grocery store with her, people would think I was her husband and my little sister was my daughter. Not cool. My stepmom was 5 years older than me. It reminded me of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure... "Dude, remember when we were freshmen and your mom was a senior?"

To agree with the posts above me, I did enjoy banging a hot piece of tight ass, firm little body, and my first official redhead. But now I am even more jaded. So who knows if it was a good deal or not.

-J
 

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Vash said:

Sidewaysducati:
What Kind of issues do men who seek older women have?
I really don't know, Vash. I think my earlier post sounded a little more like know-it-all blowhardism than I wanted it to... But, If a woman seeking out an older man may have daddy issues, maybe a man seeking an older woman would have mommy issues.
It's all just armchair psychology, coming from me.
 

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I swore to myself I wouldnt post here, but I just wanted to say that the majority of what all of you have said is correct. The 33 yr old guy is me, and I just broke up with ******, the 19 yr old. She has deep emotional problems stemming from a horribly abusive childhood in relation to her natural father. He is currently serving time for his crimes against her, but the damage is done. She has commitment issues so bad, that if she even starts to fall for a guy she will immediately activate her defense mechanisms, and begin pushing them away. She was never shallow, or materialistic from what I could see. She is simply trying to survive in an adult world with the odds stacked seriously against her.

I was smart enough to not get emotionally invested, but it still hurts to see someone with so much potential tied down with emotional baggage to the point that they fear even their own shadow.

I dont know what I could have done to help her:dunno:

Time to start a new thread.
 

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Too bad, so sad. Your best bet??Run like hell and don't look back. The emotionally unstable will bring you nothing but trouble if you decide to stick around. A handsome, well educated guy like your like yourself will have no problem finding another female companion. Hopefully one closer to your age-group. I wouldn't let it rent any space in your head, as your situation is typical of men who have recently gone thru a divorce.

I had a girlfriend who was molested as a child by a neighbor, so I can give you REAL life experience.................................... Move on, my friend...Move on.

Jimmy G
 

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Well Chris and I are almost 11 years apart. I dunno if we should count that. But other than different music interests/memories, I don't think it has made a big difference from my perspective.

He's good to me and I'm good to him and we have similar personalities, so we get along. No one has really said much to me about our age difference. I dunno if he has gotten that at all - I would guess moreso than I do, but he hasn't mentioned it.

I have dated a man who was 15 years older than me for a short period of time and it worked fine as well. Perhaps it's because I enjoy a more laid-back lifestyle than your stereotypical 22-year old, but I see don't see my age as the cause for any rifts between myself and the men I date.
 
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