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Discussion Starter #1
Subject: This is not in the Atkins Diet Book

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary studies," we can report the following activities burn up the exact number of calories. Please make a note of this, because it will not be repeated any time soon.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories



PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories


POSITIONS:
Missionary.........................................12 Calories
69 lying down...................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories


ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................1315 Calories


POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over....................................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly........................................……..........32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories
 

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Best ET 7.77 @ 186mph
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LAMO....

Italian Chandelier :drool: that sounds scrumptious :D can anyone paint a picture of this position :eyebrows:

E.
still laughin at the wife at the door calorie burner :p
 

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This is awesome. I'm going to print it and put it in my wallet. Should come in handy...
 

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Discussion Starter #5
S H O R T J O K E
A golfer stood over his tee shot for the longest time, looking up, looking down, figuring the wind direction and speed. This of course was driving his golfing friends crazy. "Hurry up," they shouted, "Hit the darn ball already!"
The meticulous golfer says, "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse, so I want this to be a perfect shot."
"Impossible!" one of the other guys replied. "There's no way you could hit her from here!"

:twofinger Hmm, wanna go golfing princess?
 

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FurryChoCha said:
Oohhh.. SOunds like love is in the air.. Nice pic Dave..:thumb:

No that's just OPP's ass....he forgot to wash it this morning :twofinger
 

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I'm currently selling tickets to the no holds barred bout #2 if anyone needs them.
 

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MrOrangePants said:
Hey princess, what kind of bike do you have again? I think you should change it to the FOC tea bagger

:rolleyes: Let It Go!


Oh nevermind that's how you got yourself into this situation in the first place isn't it? :twofinger


:D
 

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Discussion Starter #14
LuckyStrike said:
I'm currently selling tickets to the no holds barred bout #2 if anyone needs them.
Argh, darn it, the attachment won't attach to that last post.

Lets get reaaaaaaady to rummmmmmmble! ha ha ha...(we all know baby mama is gonna win the arguement)
 

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MrOrangePants said:
Argh, darn it, the attachment won't attach to that last post.

Lets get reaaaaaaady to rummmmmmmble! ha ha ha...(we all know baby mama is gonna win the arguement)

Sing With Me:

I Hate My Baby Mama, She Causes So Much Drama!

:D
 

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MrOrangePants said:
I never should taken that condom from you when I saw a new car brochure in your right hand and a pin in the other.

That wasn't a pin........it was you I was holding :eek:

:twofinger





:laughing:
 

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Cheezus - am I going to have to seperate you two?????

:twofinger
 
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