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SPRINGVILLE, Utah (AP) - Police say a teenage driver who lost control of her car while scrambling to capture her pet gerbil wasn't cited for an accident that hospitalized two people. Lt. Dave Caron said the gerbil escaped from its cage while the 17-year-old driver was southbound on state Route 51 Tuesday morning.

Making a grab for the fuzzy escape artist, the driver veered off the road and hit a stranded truck hooked to another truck by jumper cables.

The impact pushed the two trucks together, pinning a woman in between. She suffered a broken leg. A male co-worker helping the woman with her truck also suffered a broken leg. Both were taken to a Utah County hospital.

Neither the teen nor her gerbil were hurt.
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I don't know about you guys, but I think this chick needs her license revoked, and needs to take remedial driving lessons for the next 10 years until she has a grasp of the fact that driving is a privilege and one that should be taken seriously. What the hell is going on in Utah??
 

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It totally wasn't her fault! Make the gerbil go to traffic school, he caused the accident. :twofinger



Seriously though, yeah take the license back until she's old enough not to have a pet gerbil...
 

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n00b said:
It totally wasn't her fault! Make the gerbil go to traffic school, he caused the accident. :twofinger



Seriously though, yeah take the license back until she's old enough not to have a pet gerbil...
I think they should let "animal control" AKA Max come in and take care of that Gerbil.
 

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I think they should let "animal control" AKA Max come in and take care of that Gerbil.
:laughing: Yeah, Instead of giving her a ticket...

You don't take him the car with you too do you? :D I'm thinking pets should stay at home. It drives me nuts when I see people driving with little dogs on their laps and shit. They should get a ticket just for being stupid.
 

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I can't fathom why she didn't get a ticket, but there's got to be more to this than that. Cops are not very generous in accidents, especially if its a young teen driving.

As for dogs in the car, we take ours pretty often and he's always harnessed in the back seat. Gotta buckle ALL members of your family when you're out in the cage :2cents:
 

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n00b said:
You don't take him the car with you too do you?
I've only had him in a car once that he wasn't in an aquarium, and my girlfriend at the time was driving. He's an explorer so he was trying to get to the headrests, seatbelts, and anything else he could wrap around. And once he gets a hold, it's hard to unwrap him. I'd never have him out if I was driving and nobody else was there to babysit.
 

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As for dogs in the car, we take ours pretty often and he's always harnessed in the back seat. Gotta buckle ALL members of your family when you're out in the cage :2cents:
Lol, yeah I keep the harness on mine too. Nothing like 75 lbs drooling on your shoulder staring at you in the rear view. :rolleyes:

And once he gets a hold, it's hard to unwrap him.
Wow, you're brave. I wouldn't even be able to sleep knowing he was in the same room. Don't they get really big when they're full grown? I mean, I know he's your baby, but you're not even a little scared of him?

 

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n00b said:
Wow, you're brave. I wouldn't even be able to sleep knowing he was in the same room. Don't they get really big when they're full grown? I mean, I know he's your baby, but you're not even a little scared of him?

He'll grow to be about 12' long, but for now he's around 3.5'. For the most part, boas won't try to attack humans because they know we are too big for them to eat, and they're not as temperamental as some other snakes. He struck at me once and drew blood, but it was feeding time and he was in his predatory mode.

Pythons tend to be a little more feisty from my experience. And given the fact that the Reticulated Pythons can grow up to 30' long (they are the largest snakes in the world...bigger than anacondas) I wouldn't want to cross paths with one.
 

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He'll grow to be about 12' long, but for now he's around 3.5'.
:eek: What are you going to do with him when he's full grown? He's going to be a monster. Yikes, and you said your roommate has a small dog...? Hope that works out well. :D Do snakes develop attachments to people like other animals? Just curious, they totally scare me...
 

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n00b said:
:eek: What are you going to do with him when he's full grown? He's going to be a monster. Yikes, and you said your roommate has a small dog...? Hope that works out well. :D Do snakes develop attachments to people like other animals? Just curious, they totally scare me...
I'll put him in a bigger cage :dunno:

I've heard about snakes that will develop bonds with people/other animals. I read somewhere about a snake that actually "befriended" a mouse that was given to it for food. It wouldn't eat it (though it continued eating other ones) and so the owner just left it in there, and fed it and everything.

Also had a guy tell me that his son had a snake that he could set in the middle of a room full of people, and the snake would always come to him. Max seems to be less "on edge" around me sometimes, but for the most part his interests are in trying to get to hard to reach places.

As for my roomie's dog, I already told her that I was going to step up Max's feeding in order to get him big enough to eat the dog.
 

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Also had a guy tell me that his son had a snake that he could set in the middle of a room full of people, and the snake would always come to him. Max seems to be less "on edge" around me sometimes, but for the most part his interests are in trying to get to hard to reach places.

As for my roomie's dog, I already told her that I was going to step up Max's feeding in order to get him big enough to eat the dog.
:laughing: Man, you're nuts... You couldn't pay me to touch a snake. I mean, maybe if someone was holding it's head but f*ck that! I always wanted a lizard but I'm too scared to touch them too... :loser: I don't like things that move faster than me (hence my cat phobia). Hope he doesn't get into your walls...lol. There was a story on the news a couple months ago about someones snake who had done just that in an apartment building. Creepiness...
 

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I'm sure we all remember this gem:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.
 

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I'd call BS on that, but it's not worth the psychological damage I'd incur from researching it.
You really don't have to research it too much.

"Feltching" is the act of sucking semen out of the anus or vagina after sex. It has nothing to do with hamsters or gerbils.

The act of inserting gerbils into your ass involves pulling the tube out and letting it claw until it suffocates. The fact that it would suffocate will imply the obvious... air will not pass in either direction around the animal.


Those two facts alone should be enough to support the "BS" theory. ;)



and to answer the question I am absolutely positive will be asked... Dues told me all about how it's done. :D
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Your newfound knowledge on the subject certainly goes a long way in explaining your recent absence.

Anybody want to change your answers in the poll?
 
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