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Wise Words...pay attention Silva

I particularly like....

"She's a big fat hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition of a rabid Pitbull"
 

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think he would have made a bit more money selling off his wife on Ebay than that helmet of his....


some guy who has an attention deficiency syndrome might appreciate a wife who keeps her all seeing eye on him 24 hours a day......
 

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Yeah thats right!

This one sounds like a walk in the park!

Let's be fair...it was more of biting than a beating...except that exceptional right hook she got me with in the stairwell...Smashing that was!

It's a good job you knew how to handle her!!! ;)
 

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It's a sad day when fear is the only clear path forward.

Extreme situations = extreme measures an all that :cool:
 

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Ah yes...I can see amibiguity now

Gixxer_Dave said:
That sounds extremely painful :eek: :eek:
It wasn't my "stairwell' as such.... that's very much a hook free zone. (Even she wasn't stupid enough to upset Farmer Giles )

I was carrying her bags down the stairwell of my apartment when she got me with a right hook to the face. I was expecting a 'thankyou' but you know how women just love to be different.

I hear it's become very fashionable now!
 

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Indeed

Well Margery,

Why dont you try it with the wife tonight....

I'll put money down she'll twat you before you even manage to pack one pair of knickers into the bag. You'll be out for the count in the bedroom with a shit load of explaining to do before you even think stairwell.


....but what do I know about such things?
 

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Don;t worry about Boycie margerine! i gave him a hug when he came back up. After i'd stopped pissin myself of course. :thumb:
 

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Re: Indeed

Boycie said:
Well Margery,

Why dont you try it with the wife tonight....

I'll put money down she'll twat you before you even manage to pack one pair of knickers into the bag. You'll be out for the count in the bedroom with a shit load of explaining to do before you even think stairwell.


....but what do I know about such things?

nah...i'll just learn from you guys...its all about letting someone else got slapped before you do....

after all, what would I know too huh? I just got married and still am in the honeymoon mood!

wait till it all settles down and I will let you guys know about how many times I get slapped in an hour:D and that might end up in the front page of tomorrows news....considering that nothing ever happens here.


and since BP says that all locals are muppets, I'll leave it to you experts to teach me how to run a relationship.... who knows....I might do a better job than I am doing already now....

got a few pointers already anyways....

1) walk own a stairwell a good ten steps before the wifey,

2) keep a spare room key for when you get thrown out to the couch

3) DONT GET MARRIED!! :D
 

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Well when it does go pear shaped..!

Let me know...I'll teach you the basics in;

1) Airborne furniture and live electrical appliance avoidance, parts 1&2
2) How to avoid a right hook
3) How to avoid a left hook
4) Where not to keep the sharp knives
5) How to hide you genitals if she does find something sharper than a spoon
6) 10 things to say to a Dr at casualty if your nipple falls off.

Then if these defensive measures aren't enough, BP will give you the low down on advanced separation councilling, which includes;

7) How to feel sorry for you're mate's Ex when she balls her eyes out at a bar.
8) Why its not a good idea to bring them back to your place to calm them down. Especially when your harbouring the last man to sleep with her in the spare room!
9) How to gently nut them on the forehead when they won't listen and/or exhibit the same violent tendancies you've been talking about for the past 6 months.
10) How to get her back in the car at 4am and try and dump her back at your mates place even though he's switched the phone off, bolted the door and taped the door bell up!

The DVD will be in the shops before Xmas.
 

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wat about methods as to how to get her to allow you to buy a Marine tank and stick it in the house?

or why I should be able to go to bed without brushing my teeth?

or why I should be able to lick whipped cream off my neighbour's daughter?
 

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WOLVERINE II said:
wat about methods as to how to get her to allow you to buy a Marine tank and stick it in the house?

or why I should be able to go to bed without brushing my teeth?

or why I should be able to lick whipped cream off my neighbour's daughter?
Try telling wifey this...

All men MUST have hobbies. May it be bikes, fish, golf, women (Other women, not her!), beer etc.... would you prefer me to stick to fishes or would you like me to progress to women & booze?
 

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FireSpitter said:
Try telling wifey this...

All men MUST have hobbies. May it be bikes, fish, golf, women (Other women, not her!), beer etc.... would you prefer me to stick to fishes or would you like me to progress to women & booze?
Try tellin her to fark off....... jeeeeze what is it with you guys.

So the next time a mates bird is in tears and homeless in a bar and you wanna help DONT!
Boy, could she fight like a banshee on fire. :eek:

If i'd have nutted her she'd still be having trouble breathing throu her nose. How our mate never murdered her is beyond me.:cool:
 

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sounds like that incident was some kind of a pre war warmup session or something.....

and BP....socking a girl in the kisser? Now...thats unbecoming of an outstanding gentleman like you:D
 

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bigphil said:
Try tellin her to fark off....... jeeeeze what is it with you guys.

So the next time a mates bird is in tears and homeless in a bar and you wanna help DONT!
Boy, could she fight like a banshee on fire. :eek:

If i'd have nutted her she'd still be having trouble breathing throu her nose. How our mate never murdered her is beyond me.:cool:
Oh...happy days. How I miss them!

BP's also 'kissed a girl in the socker' so that squares everything up in my book.
 
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