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That was hilarious. I'm still a bit skeptical about whether the guy was real or just putting everyone on, but it seemed real.

One Saturday our maintenance manager sent a new engineer to the hardware store for a board stretcher. The guy actually went and asked for it. They of course didn't have one, so they referred him to another store, who did the same thing. He ends up going to 3 stores asking for a board stretcher, then comes back and reports that nobody in town had one. He didn't last long.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I got a few of those.
A few years ago, at work a guy stops by trying to sell everyone some useless crap (I believe steak knives and childrens books, which is a bit of an odd combination) this was during break, an no one seemed the least bit interested, which I informed this gentelman of. He wanted to try a new strategy, trying to "get to know his clients". So he started by asking if we were a telemarketing place
"No, we build radiation detectors"
*alarm* "Radiation?"
"Yes, its pretty safe as long as you take the proper precations. Are you wearing a lead cup?"
*stumble* "...No.."
"Would you mind steping behind the yellow line" As I point out the yellow parking lines... Priceless...

My friends in the navy nuke program are considerably more ruthless. Examples include sending the new guys to the store room to collect 12 feet of felopian tubing, asking (with great urgency) to locate and escaped fast nuetron, Or asking the security marines to scan the carrier hull for leaks that may have been left by the escaping fast nuetrons. New personell are often greeted by the entire reactor crew donning their super protective suits (you know lead ones) carrying around buckets full of foaming water with lightsticks.
 

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I was in an autoparts store once, when a girl came in asking for Blinker fluid. She said her boyfriend sent her in for it. We all chuckled, but the poor girl was on the verge of tears. So we all (customers and employees) pitched in and made a new label on their computer. Put it on a quart of brakefluid, and sent her home with a bottle of Blinker fluid.
 

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Hi All-

I remember years ago when I told the mechanic that I need to change the "710" fluid on my motorcycle to preserve the engine. It was only after he spun the cap around to show me it was "OIL" that we were able to make progress.

;)

~ Blue Jays ~
 

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Hi 97yzfinwyo-

See what happens when posting and you allow yourself to be distracted?! Our minds are thinking alike...

~ Blue Jays ~
 

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When I was in the ARMY I worked in the motorpool as a mechanic. When we got new guys in we would tell them to go to the tool guy and sign out a left handed crescent wrench. Worked every time. Also when the weather would start to change from hot to cold we would tell them that they needed to change the summer air to winter air in the tires. They would spend half the day doing it until someone would tip em off.:D
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Heard of this from my army buddy. Find the newest guy, ask him to fetch you an I.D 10-t gun. Everyone would seem to be in on the deal, cause each person he asks would send him to the next higher rank. Finally, upon reaching the highest ranked member of this scam, the nervous newbie would be told to write it down so that they can look for it.

ID10T
 

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Heard a great story once about an apprentice sent to get a 10-inch copulating tool. The storeman was on it in a flash and told the newb he'd be able to get one by the next morning.

The storeman had visited Bali and had a wooden statue with a, shall we say, rather large "woody". He wrapped it up and got a parcel delivery company to bring it to work the next day.

Smoko rolls around and the delivery van pulls up. The apprentice jumps up and races over to sign for his "10-inch copulating tool". He opened the box and just about died when he realised the gag. Poor bastard. :laughing:


Then there's the checkered paint, left-handed screw drivers or my absolute favourite, the "long weight". :laughing:
 

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Hi cookeetree-

Would the "long weight" conversation go something like this:

Q: "Hi, I'm here for the long weight/wait."
A: "Take a seat right over there and we'll call you when we're ready."

~ Blue Jays ~
 

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Worked for a short while, in an automotive parts shop, & was continually sending "go-boys" off fror a left hand adjustable spanner, a three lb tin of compressed air & "No I will not accept the 5 lb one or three one pounders" to lord knows what else & in turn the kid would be sent to another shop. I use to have one about a certain sized inside out bearing, but cannot recall how I had it worded.

Also had one finally backfire on me. I would get an cage tail pipke & send the kid into our machine shop to have it straightened out till he finally reallized he had been conned again. Only this one time the kid came back, with the welder following him, & a big old rusty plate of steel welded to it----I had to pay for the tail gate & no the kid had not cought on. Just the chaps at the machine shop could not stand the dumb kids with said tail-pipes.
 

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Vash said:
Heard of this from my army buddy. Find the newest guy, ask him to fetch you an I.D 10-t gun. Everyone would seem to be in on the deal, cause each person he asks would send him to the next higher rank. Finally, upon reaching the highest ranked member of this scam, the nervous newbie would be told to write it down so that they can look for it.

ID10T


Dammit, I wish I would of thought that one. Thats good.
 

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Just for the record. Those suits we wore in the Navy were not lead if you are referring to the silver air fed suits. Those are steam approach suits and they suck.

Sending guys to grease the relative bearing was always fun.

A bud sent a guy to the ship's tender to the medical office for a roll of umbilical cord. Sad part was the female officer on duty that the asked just happened to be 8 months pregnant when he asked for the roll.

Retrieving bulkhead remover is always a good one too.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
The next one is going to require some explanation. Prior to the collapse of the USSR, economy was becoming increasingly unstable. With an extrordinary large percentage of the country being alcoholics, it made sence to use alcohol as a bartering currency. However alcohol could not be bought, even in otherwise benign products, for people would drink aftershave. Alcohol could be issued to researchers upon request (filed a year in advance) who would then often use it to bribe lab and industrial personel, so they could actually get something done. (We are talking about an economy in which people get paid the same regardless of wether they do their job or not). Thus a common methode of requisition of alcohol would be to "clean optical focal points" wouldnt want them to get dirty after all...
 
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