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If I actually thought all kids were angels I'd be upset with alec but I know not all kids are angels or angels 100% of the time. Kids these days try to act grown up at a younger and younger age and end up willingly and tryingly pushing their parent's (as well as other people's) buttons, a person can only take so much button pushing before a reaction comes about.
 

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Apple dont fall far from the tree, I'm guessin.....
 

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He's trying to parent from a different coast line? haha I love the threats over the phone! "Just wait til I fly there next week." Oh, that does a lot of good. Geeez, I wonder why the kid ignores him!! GREAT post!!!! Here's how NOT to parent!! lol



Jen
 

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Kids are supposed to respect their parents and it's disrepectful to blow them off repeatedly, if shes that busy that she can never be reachable at a preplanned time she could give notice but I'm guessing because he's so far away she doesn't bother to think or worry about how he feels being blown off. I love how the news is putting so much coverage on it...the "verbally abusive angry father bit" meanwhile there are parents that are beating their child when the child does wrong.

I'm curious if anyone thinks alec could have fixed the problem long-distance over the phone by leaving a polite "Hi it's dad, I've been calling, I'll call again at our next scheduled time" kind of message.
 

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I think that if the kids is 13, the damage is done. Good luck trying to get respect out of a kid that isn't given any.




Jen
 

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636Jen said:
I think that if the kids is 13, the damage is done. Good luck trying to get respect out of a kid that isn't given any.




Jen
True but is his daughter 13? I read she was 11. As far as repect in a give take situtation, if you have to get respect to give respect then no one would respect anyone. Sometimes you have to give respect even when your not getting it. As far as parent child mutual respect, I learned that you always respect your parents regardless or else (of course this was before whooping your child was legally termed child abuse).

what's goin on with society these days with kids, this lack of respect thing is out of hand. the whole gotta respect a kid for them to respect you just doesn't work for me. How would such a kid respect the authority of law if the law never respects the kid first.
 

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11....13....my mistake.

Respecting ones parents is a great THEORY however so many other things come into play. Is a child supposed to respect a parent who smokes or is drunk in front of him/her while saying, "Don't do this, it's bad for you?" Is a child supposed to respect a parent who doesn't follow through with discipline, rules or boundaries? Kids have to TRUST their parents to lead them in the right direction. It's hard to do that when parents themselves aren't on the right path. Respect for authority is based on trust. Don't confuse being in charge with being in control. Instead of directly controlling children, it's better to control the situation in order to make it easier for children to learn to control themselves. Children respond with genuine trust and respect rather than fear and rebellion.

Kids want limits so that they don't feel out of control, and they want parents to stand by those limits. Kids test your limits to see if you will uphold them. When you don't, the child feels anxious that no one is strong enough to contain him. Kids who keep pushing the limits without a strong parent to keep the boundaries in check, end up being kids without direction or respect for authority or themselves.

This isn't a 11 or 13 year old kid who is suddenly being disrespectful. This is a kid who, after years and years of parental neglect, is showing the results of that.

It goes way beyond this but do you agree so far?



Jen
 
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