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What's the funniest thing you've seen or done on a motorcycle?

This question was suggested by photobug. Thanks for the great question!

One time I was pulling out of a restaurant parking lot with a group of friends. One of my friends, Danny, was pulling out behind me and everyone else had already pulled out. We had traffic and were going to have to wait, but this nice man in a truck stopped and motioned us to join our group. I was nervous, had just started riding a few months before this and in making that tight turn we had to make, I exhibited poor clutch control and the bike jerked a WHOLE LOT, several times and then I got to laughing so hard I almost fell over. When we got to the light, Danny pulled up next to me and asked me what the hell I was trying to do. I think his biggest worry was that he didn't want the guy in the truck to think he was with such a dork. He still tells that story to this day and it makes me laugh so hard it hurts!! :D

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Stacia
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'00 CBR F4 (the faster, silver/red model)
"Objects in mirror no longer matter!"
 

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The funniest thing for me is something I am a little embarrassed :eek: to tell, but everybody around had a real good laugh.
Back in the early 70's I had an H2 Kawasaki 750, 3cyl 2-stroke and my friend had just bought an new Kawasaki 500 3cyl 2-stroke and a group of us road out to his house to check it out. I had my girlfriend with me and after chating about the new bike awhile, my friend asked if I wanted to try it out and compare it to my 750. :D Of course I did and my girl wanted to go along. So I took off and went about 5 miles and turned around to go back. As I did I opened it up some and took it up to about 95mph. :) :) When we got back, everybody was pointing and laughing. :D :D I wondered what :confused: was so funny until my girl hopped off and walked around beside me, I looked and her top had came all the way unbuttoned and this was the 70's now (no bra), everything was showing. She didn't even realize it herself at first but when she did . . . :eek: :eek: :eek: !!! I guess we had rode for 5 miles that way too! :D

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Marty
 
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Great question, sure thing for a few good laughs!

I've told this story on SBW before, but it still reigns as *my* funniest. My riding buddy and I are stopped at a red light, middle lane, surrounded on both sides by cages. He's sitting there with both feet on the ground, hands on tank. He lifts his left foot to rest it on the peg, but inadvertently knocks his shift lever down. As his bike lurches forward and stalls, his head snaps violently backwards, his hands flail clumsily as he goes for the bars, he loses his balance and his left foot tries to make it to the pavement to prevent the bike from falling over. Fortunately, he saves it. To add insult to injury in front of our audience, I look directly over at him, shake my head, and ease my bike up and over as far away from him as I can get, and hang my shaking head, like I'm embarrassed to be riding with him (which I was at the moment). For a few more miles down the road, I rip it up a bit like I'm trying to avoid riding with him. He still hates it when I bring that incident up.

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Pete
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers."



[This message has been edited by Pete (edited August 29, 2000).]
 

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I had just picked up my first sportbike, a '94 Katana 600 (P.O.S.) and decided to take it down to the DMV course to practice for my road test. I approached the starting line for the avoidance test and went to put my foot down when I stopped. Unfortunately, my shoelace had looped around the peg and I couldn't get my foot off. With all my weight transferred to that side, I slowly teetered over, bike and all, smacking the pavement at a dead stop. There were about 10 people outside the DMV who saw this and were standing there with their mouths hanging open. To make matters worse, I was trapped under the bike, still tied to the peg. A couple of people came over and unweighted the bike from my leg so I could get out. Needless to say, I was just a tad red-faced. I quickly hustled out of there and went home to see what I could do about the newly acquired scratches on my 6-hour old bike! Ay Caramba!!!

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C'mon guys! It's all ball bearings these days!...STC
 

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Okay, another one. I was riding with a bunch of work buddies who were all on HD's. Not only was I the only one on a sportbike, that P.O.S. Katana again, but I was the only with a girl on the back. On the way back from the ride, we were going through town in some heavy traffic. Bored with the slow progress, the girl on the back of my bike started standing up on the pegs, shaking her ass, and not a bad one at that, to all my buddies behind us. We came to a stoplight and she really went into overdrive with that thing. I've got the bike stabilized and she is doing figure eights for everybody. As I look to the lane to our right, these two guys in a pick-up come cruising up, their eyes glued to the "floating ass dance." Without even touching there brakes, they plow into a truck in front of them, stopped at the light. They must have hit that thing at about 35 and they pushed it and another car clear into the intersection. Then the light turned greed and we all took off, laughing hysterically. I know, I know, I shouldn't find humor in other people's misfortune, but God that was funny!!! I'm a bad man... :p

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C'mon guys! It's all ball bearings these days!...STC

[This message has been edited by VTRPilot (edited August 29, 2000).]
 

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I was in my first season riding. Had a new 1991 Catana600. I had alredy dropped her a couple weeks b4 so had only my throttle side mirror. it was late at night. i was coming home from work, was tired and out of it. in the final kilometer of residential roads to my house i decided to whip through a couple corners. i did the first one kinda quick (for a rookie) then their was a stop sign. some gang was hanging around the stop sign so i didnt feel like stopping beside them. They were all staring at me coming down the road and blowing the stop. the second corner is kinda blind and there would be another stop sign. so i slowed it down. all of a sudden i see my gauges all flashing red and blue, so i stop in the middle of the corner/road. so there i am tapping the gauges and blipping the throttle wondering whats up. then i notice my jacket is flashing to? so im looking at my gloves and jacket tripping out. i finnaly look around and see everything is flashing. So I look up to the sky. Nothing there. Finnaly i look back and theres the cop van that tailed me for a bit. he thought i was trying to take off when i zipped through the corner and blew the stop. he says he called for back up when i stopped like that and did my freaking retard show. I had license and insurance and gave him the i was tired coming from work reason. So he actually let me off.

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Keep Your feet on the pegs and your right hand cranked!

[This message has been edited by TheToy (edited August 29, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by TheToy (edited August 29, 2000).]
 

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This is some funny stuff. LMAO!!! :D :D

I don't have any really funny stuff. Just stupid stuff that might be funny to others.

I forgot about the lock on my front wheel at the Home Depot parking lot. When I started to leave the wheel turned and the disc lock broke the caliper mounting bracket on my VFR. I had only had the bike for about 2 or 3 weeks. Interesting 25 mile ride from Knoxville to home with only rear brakes and a caliper strapped to the passenger seat. :eek:

Also, when my voltage regulator on the VFR went out I was at Deal's Gap camped next to 5 couples that all had Harley Davidsons. Sad when a Honda won't start when surrounded by the cousins of the Exxon Valdez. :eek:

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John

"If Harley made an airplane... would you fly in it?"
 
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VTRPilot and Toy, those stories are frickin' HILARIOUS!!! ROFLMAO at the shoelace tangled in the footpeg and the "freakin retard show". My sides are hurting!!

John, you're one boring mofo. :p

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Pete
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers."
 

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pete:

John, you're one boring mofo. :p

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I know that. :rolleyes:

This is some funny sh*t. Excellent question. :cool:



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John

"If Harley made an airplane... would you fly in it?"
 

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Ok... I'm a good sport, here goes.

Shortly after I got my Buell M2 I was showing it off to family and friends. I was pointing out all the interesting features of the bike (ie. horsepower, handling, keyed forklock security, etc.)and talking about how much I'd been enjoying it. As I started it up for the big exit, it cranked up, I put it into gear and rolled it on! Unfortunately I lurched into a tight circle and landed in the middle of my sister's front lawn! I'd forgotten to unlock the fork..... So much for the spectacular exit!

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Judy
 

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2 of my friends and me were riding one day and we decided we would go down this deserted road, travel at your risk... it was VERY rutted up and I decided to take my clear glasses off (night time) and when I tried to put them on my tank bag, I hit a small rut. Well, the front tire decided to follow the rut and me driving with one hand didn't have much say in the matter. The rut went across the road, up the hill about a foot before I got my other hand down to react. Well, on the other side of the road, where I was going now, had a giant rut, about 2 foot deep. Guess what happened next? You got it, that is where I ended up. I went from a NX250 enduro to a VFR interceptor 700 and I was still learning. I couldn't pick the bike up myself since I was just about laying under it preventing it from sliding in to the rut, top side first. I was pissed big time, having a bad night mumbling stuff like "I aint gonna drive a scratched up bike..." my 2 buddies were joking around, trying to make me laugh when 1 of them stopped and was looking back, waiting for the other one. He was revving his motor when BAM, doing a donut, bike on the ground. His clutch lever snapped in his hand and down it went. This made me laugh so I was in a better mood after that.

- Jeff -

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[This message has been edited by Kahuna (edited September 03, 2000).]
 

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While riding with a group in Texas some years ago we noticed the Harley rider was missing. Two of us went back looking, and found him about 15 miles back sitting next to his mangled bike. After surveying the damage my friend asked him what happened. Turns out he had locked up his rear brake going into a corner and low-sided his bike, which was now pretty much a part of the guardrail. Scott asked him why he was on the rear brake going into a corner.

"I don't have a front brake," he replied.

"Why don't you have a front brake?" Scott asked.

"It looks better without it."

Scott looked back over at the twisted Harley and said "It doesn't look very good right now."

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"I was born yesterday, but I was up late last night."
Gary P. Nunn
 

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by photobug:


"It looks better without it."

Scott looked back over at the twisted Harley and said "It doesn't look very good right now."

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFLMAO!!! :D :D I scared the crap out of the cat. :p



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John

"If Harley made an airplane... would you fly in it?"
 

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One nice sunny day I pulled up next to an attractive girl in a jeep with the top down. She was turning left while I was going right and I was giving her the eye. She smiled and gave me a little wave. The light turned and I was pulling out, let out too much clutch without enough gas, jerked the bike back and forth, stalled it, and nearly fell over into her lane.

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I wouldn't be so paranoid if you all weren't out to get me.
 

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by photobug:


"I don't have a front brake," he replied.

"Why don't you have a front brake?" Scott asked.

"It looks better without it."

Scott looked back over at the twisted Harley and said "It doesn't look very good right now."

[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Photobug, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. You just made my day! Hell, you probably just made my entire week! That is the funniest thing I have heard in ages!!! Christ, I read it ten minutes ago, and I am still laughing!



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Rossco.
 

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Valet

So I'm Valet parking at the Kemper open about five years ago at the main lot ( where the golfers park) so there are some motorcycle cops hanging around doing nothing. We were very slow so I asked a cop if I could just sit on his big ass 1340 cc harley. He says "no it's too big, you'll drop it". At the time I was 20 years old so I harassed the poor bastard unitl he agrees. I throw a leg over and sit there for a minute or two messing with all his gadgets. As I get off I must hit the kickstand, so when I put some wieght on it, I saw it start to buckle and the bike inch forward. I get under the bars and try desperately to slow the decent... to no avail. I hear the cop yell " just let it go."
Crunch, the bike goes down only onto the sissy bar. It was so bad, with all my might I couldn't even budge it back off the ground, I really just wanted to hide underneath a car for a while.
I scatched the hell out the bar, Mister copper must have had a interesting conversation with his boss that night, not to mention his partner who was laughing and point I told you so, you Jackass.
 

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Stupid and Funny

Well, my favorite one had to be the time the Geo Metro wanted to race me on my VFR.

I did the shoe lace one way too many times. I did it a few weeks ago on my friends ZRX-1100. Almost fell over because of it. Now I tuck my laces in.

But my favorite had to have been when a guy on a 900RR decided he was going to smoke me. I was at the light waiting to go. All of a sudden I hear another bke pul up next to me. He keeps reving the engine. I was dumb, decided to go for it. Well, Slapnuts decides to let the clutch out a weeee bit to early....the bike starts to come out from under him. Almost went into the intersection. I never laughed so hard before. I think he was a newbie though. the bike still had paper plates.
 

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I've got to many stories to list. Some funnier than others. More are amusing, rather than funny, like a friend telling us he was "getting pretty good in the twisties". We finally get to the road we are gonna ride, and the first turn, entering it, I look to my best friend, and smile, he nods, like we were both thinking "it's go time". We punch it, coming up to a turn, drop in at full lean, come out of the pretty tight turn, both lofting the front wheel off the ground a little accelerating, shifting through the gears. That guy, was gone, after one turn, and one small straight, we didn't see him. We get to the end of about a 5 minute twisty, and wait for about 3 minutes for our friend to arrive.

Another time, my good friend from the other story, told me to come over to his room, he needed some help on his bike. I said OK. Mind you we were Air Force, and were living on an Army base, since it was so close to where we both worked at the time, the Pentagon. We both lived on the 4th floor of a rundown Army barracks. Well, I get to his room, much to my surprise, his bike is sitting in the middle of his room. I was pretty surprised to say the least. I ask why he did it, he said that they didn't like him working on it down by the back door, so he figured this was the next best place, haha! I'm sure they had him taking in the decrepid elevator, and through the building, down his hall, on their minds when they wanted him to relocate!

How about this one. There is this road in North Virginia, Triangle road, right by Quantico Marine Base. We knew this road like it was the Isle of Man and we were Joey Dunlop. We road it all the time, and knew it incredibly well. We regularly scraped pegs, exhaust, etc on this road. So we pass this guy on a Ninja 500, coming around a turn. We were both at full lean, on a right hand turn. With my clutch hand I take two fingers off and wave, at full lean mind you, I couldn't even see the guy, since I was hanging off on the right. So we swing by the local bike shop after hitting the road a few times, and we see this guy with a busted up Ninja 500. "Man, you guys are the two guys I saw out by Quantico, huh?! You guys were hauling ass, and did you wave at me while leaned over!? You're nuts!" Yeah, that was us, I reply. He says, "Damn, you all made me wanna go fast, and I wrecked the next turn!" Whoops.

A lot of mine are funnier if you were there. I started on a 97 F3, and my good friend, the same one, Russ, had started on a GS500, and got a 98 gixxer 750 when I got my F3. Well, I had been riding about 7-8 months, and had really taken a liking and skill to wheeliing. Well, I say that I could wheelie just about anything I think. He says, "Not my GS500". I say, "There's only one way to find out" Mind you this GS500 is not just any GS500, it's one that has been sitting, not run in about 8 months, maybe once. So I hop on this thing, and we head out. Right after we pull out of the base, I crank up the RPMs, let that clutch out, and yeehaw, near upright wheelie for two blocks, haha. That thing was putting out probably around 40 horsepower, at best, what fun!
 
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