Another short girl... Welcome to the club
I'm 4'10, so trust me, I know how you feel.
I went about the same stuff as you, running to different dealerships and trying to see what's what. By the time I was done I had it narrowed down to 3 bikes: The Ninja 250, Ninja 500 and my safety the Buell Blast. The blast I could touch on the balls of my feet, the 250, very tip-toed and the 500 not at all.
I ended up with the Ninja 500 and just dropped it... a lot. I ordered a lowering kit from Adjustment Tech Racing
(You need #cc150. Kit is adjustable, can lower up to 4 inches if you want. The nose becomes an issue. The bars are not hollow so you can't lower the front but woodcraft makes clip ons so you can lower the front)
As for the Woodcraft Clip Ons
: the numbers for the necessary risers on a 94+ ex 500, "Woodcraft Clipons - EX250/500 Clipon Risers 37mm #12-0237"
I also ordered a custom Corbin Seat
I think between parts and labor I paid about an extra $1000. This is why I went with the Ninja 500 instead of the 250, it gave me a little more room for growth and I can't afford to spend an extra $1k on mods every time I need a new bike. I bought the bike new, but obviously you wouldn't have to.
There's one more mod I need to do and that's shorten the kickstand. Center Stand had to be removed for ground clearance and the bike now sits extremely vertical on the kickstand.
Here are a couple of pics if you're curious:
Lowered as it sits today
Lowered when it first came home (I've dropped it a lot since then):
And no, my arms aren't always locked up like that, just a few quick pics that mom snapped