Ok, this has pissed me off for years. When I look back, I can remember movies being reviewed horribly all the way back to when I was in junior high I think. When I finally snapped and denounced movie reviewers totally, was when The Fifth Element was reviewed as "a waste of time and money". Since then I've had a strong hatred for movie reviewers. They are nothing more than a bunch of panty-in-a-bunch, crybaby, wannabeshakespearean retards. They almost entirely seem to approach movies with a crap until proven good mentality. They nitpick ****ing movies that are not intended to be ****ing Academy award winners as if they were trying to be. I don't give a **** if Six Days had an editing mistake 35:36 minutes into the movie DAMNIT! I don't care if Road Trip was immature, I ****ing nearly pissed my pants when the old man stood up with a hard on and knocked shit over!!!
You may ask why, and what brought this on. I was bored, and figured I'd check out the times for Freddy Got Fingered, since I am going to see it tonight. Well, they had a review along with the movie times, and they ranted about how horrible it was. I went on to read it and I found them using words I don't even know the meaning of (and I'm a pretty well versed dictionary afficianado) to describe a ****ing movie about Tom Green for #@[email protected]
sake! It's meant to make you laugh!!! I then went on to read some other sites, and there was every single newspaper, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, blah blah blah, same crap. So I checked some of my favorite movies comedies, like Road Trip, ZERO positive reviews, 19 negatives. I checked some others I have seen recently, they gave Enemy at the Gates 2 positives, and 18 negatives, and 5 mixed reviews. This was one of the best movies I've seen in a good while, and they hated it, nitpicking and talking about retarded crap.
There's Road Trip:
Here's all the current movies, what's lacking in that left column? Numbers greater than ZERO:
These guys are so ****ing high and mighty they don't watch a movie to get a laugh, or be entertained by the action, they approach all movies with a negative attitude, like they are pissed that they get paid to watch ****ing movies and complain about them.
This all said, I am seriously considering making a movie review site. I've talked to a ton of people over the years who have agreed with me that the movie reviewers don't review movies for what they are, they review them all like they are 80 years old, and they are comparing the movies to movies they saw 30 years ago, ET, Casa Blanca, blah blah blah. Something like HonestMovieReview.com or something, who knows, but I think it could really be good. Especially if people were allowed to put in their own 2 cents, and get a lot of interaction, message boards, etc. I could even use friends to help with movie reviews, and take viewer submissions. For something like a bike site, Robert can get mentions by the other sites out there, but for me it would be damn hard to get support for the site, getting hits would probably cost me, and it would take a lot of word of mouth, but it could be done.
Anyhow, what does everyone think? Do you all agree that movie reviewers suck? Read the reviews for some of your favorite movies, and I bet you will, they probably hated them.