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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-20-2001, 01:36 PM Thread Starter
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Ok, this has pissed me off for years. When I look back, I can remember movies being reviewed horribly all the way back to when I was in junior high I think. When I finally snapped and denounced movie reviewers totally, was when The Fifth Element was reviewed as "a waste of time and money". Since then I've had a strong hatred for movie reviewers. They are nothing more than a bunch of panty-in-a-bunch, crybaby, wannabeshakespearean retards. They almost entirely seem to approach movies with a crap until proven good mentality. They nitpick ****ing movies that are not intended to be ****ing Academy award winners as if they were trying to be. I don't give a **** if Six Days had an editing mistake 35:36 minutes into the movie DAMNIT! I don't care if Road Trip was immature, I ****ing nearly pissed my pants when the old man stood up with a hard on and knocked shit over!!!

You may ask why, and what brought this on. I was bored, and figured I'd check out the times for Freddy Got Fingered, since I am going to see it tonight. Well, they had a review along with the movie times, and they ranted about how horrible it was. I went on to read it and I found them using words I don't even know the meaning of (and I'm a pretty well versed dictionary afficianado) to describe a ****ing movie about Tom Green for #@[email protected] sake! It's meant to make you laugh!!! I then went on to read some other sites, and there was every single newspaper, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, blah blah blah, same crap. So I checked some of my favorite movies comedies, like Road Trip, ZERO positive reviews, 19 negatives. I checked some others I have seen recently, they gave Enemy at the Gates 2 positives, and 18 negatives, and 5 mixed reviews. This was one of the best movies I've seen in a good while, and they hated it, nitpicking and talking about retarded crap.

There's Road Trip:

Here's all the current movies, what's lacking in that left column? Numbers greater than ZERO:

These guys are so ****ing high and mighty they don't watch a movie to get a laugh, or be entertained by the action, they approach all movies with a negative attitude, like they are pissed that they get paid to watch ****ing movies and complain about them.

This all said, I am seriously considering making a movie review site. I've talked to a ton of people over the years who have agreed with me that the movie reviewers don't review movies for what they are, they review them all like they are 80 years old, and they are comparing the movies to movies they saw 30 years ago, ET, Casa Blanca, blah blah blah. Something like or something, who knows, but I think it could really be good. Especially if people were allowed to put in their own 2 cents, and get a lot of interaction, message boards, etc. I could even use friends to help with movie reviews, and take viewer submissions. For something like a bike site, Robert can get mentions by the other sites out there, but for me it would be damn hard to get support for the site, getting hits would probably cost me, and it would take a lot of word of mouth, but it could be done.

Anyhow, what does everyone think? Do you all agree that movie reviewers suck? Read the reviews for some of your favorite movies, and I bet you will, they probably hated them.
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-20-2001, 03:23 PM
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Thumbs up

I never trust movie reviews and I rarely trust weather reports.

My motto is: get opinions from friends on movies and look outside for the weather.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-20-2001, 03:28 PM
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Originally posted by HondaNut!
I never trust movie reviews and I rarely trust weather reports.

My motto is: get opinions from friends on movies and look outside for the weather.
Amen Brother!
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-20-2001, 04:14 PM
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DAMN Rob, now THAT is what I call "Riled Up!"

I think your website idea is great. Email me if you need any help. But just a word of warning: a site like what youi have in mind would take alot of your time. Websites are always fun for the first month, and then things change and only then do you really find out if it is worth it all or not.

Myself, I am a relatively negative movie critic, but everyone is in their own way. We all have likes and dislikes. For example:

I scoffed at U571 as a silly submarine movie (Ive seen em all, both good and bad) But When i recently watched the DVD the other night i was impressed. I give it a 8 on a 1-10 scale.

On the other hand, 5 years ago i eagerly went to the movie theater to see 'Crimson Tide' fully expecting a great movie. After it was over i was very let down. That movie only gets a 4 on a 1-10 scale.

Saving Private Ryan is a 10, if for no other reason than it made me (an avid ww2/military buff) want to leave the theater (although i didnt) and basically bitch slapped the entire audience into a numbed silence/state of shock. That is what war does so to me it gets highest marks.

But then you get into movies like 'Dumb and Dumber' and 'This is Spinal Tap' VERY stupid Movies (but VERY FUNNY), but i give them high marks because they are good in their own genre.

Last edited by GreenNinja; 04-20-2001 at 04:16 PM.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-21-2001, 06:54 AM
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They are called Critics you know.

Seriously, If I want to see a movie and the critics bash it then it is a must see. I normally listen to the people around me for opinions(ie, coworkers, friends).

I'm a very bad person to review Navy films, especially submarine based films. Crimson Tide was a good film but too many inaccuracies for me. I get pissed when Producers don't do their research. I laughed my ass off when the Lieutenant told the Petty Officer to do push-ups before they left in the bus to catch the ship. My wife lauged and said, "I can just imagine what you would have said to Mike(Lieutenant & friend still) if he told you to do push-ups". When the Officers are outnumbered 150 to 20 it is best not to be too big of a jackass. It makes things much more difficult.
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-21-2001, 09:34 AM
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"I can just imagine what you would have said to Mike(Lieutenant & friend still) if he told you to do push-ups".

Push ups, Push ups, where...I loves me some sherbert Push ups Sir. They're so sweet and fit in my mouth just right, mmmmmmm.

Last edited by Rug Burn; 04-21-2001 at 09:37 AM.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-23-2001, 06:08 AM Thread Starter
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Actually GreenNinja, I first started doing web page design when I was 16 (23 now) and have built and maintained quite a few companies websites. I've ran a few personal websites, one for 2 years. was my most recent, but I got sick and lack of traffic made me stop working on it. I haven't paid for or updated that website in over a year, yet the site is still there for whatever reason!

Anyhow, I have no problem putting the time into it, and I can do good graphics, web design, scripting, etc, myself.

We'll see what I can come up with.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-23-2001, 12:54 PM
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Hey Rob,

Let me know if you need any help. I would volunteer time and energy for an "HonestMovieReview" site. One thing I think should be focused on though is feedback from "the masses". Everyone has their own opinions so for "honest" reviews you would need reviews from lots of different people. I haven't done much graphic design but If you need help with Html or DHtml let me know. I have a cable modem so I can upload pretty easy too. If you don't need help no problem, but I wouldn't mind at all.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-23-2001, 02:29 PM
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As I have 3 little kids, I generally get to see WAY too many kiddie flicks. I subscribe to's newletter to help avoid movies that are laced with excessive languange. I've come to believe that most screenwriters have no parents, 'cause if they spoke with that language around any parent I know, they'd get the stuffing beaten out of them.

If I bring my 13 year old to a movie loaded up with that kind of crap, am I not telling him it's ok to talk like that? So I get to watch lots of G & PG stuff. I've come to really appreciate old movies too. But I digress...

Enemy at the Gate: Potential to be great, but as a student of sniper warfare and the knowledge of the storyline behind this plot, I was disappoiinted that there wasn't more accuracy and technical sophistication concerning the legendary matchup.

U-571: Just got the DVD, great movie, even if the producers took HUGE license and made the success American rather than the Brits, who actually did the deed. Good flick.

Haven't watched Private Ryan yet, just got the DVD and will probably sit down with my lads and watch it some evening.

Most of the rest of the crap is generally a complete waste of time to me. Give me a good book...Tom Clancy anyone?

Our greatest challenge in life is living up to our own potential.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 04-23-2001, 03:15 PM
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if you are trying to filter potentially "bad" or "foul" stuff from your kids (you have every right to do that, no prob there) I really want to warn you about 'Saving Private Ryan'.

It is not a movie for the squeamish or very young. Depending on the amount of violence one has been exposed or not exposed to, i really would say you MUST preview the movie with the wife first, before you let your kids watch it.

Id say it is not something i would want a kid under 15 to have to be subjected to.

Just my opinion.

Its still a great film.
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