Courtroom (Humor) - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-08-2001, 09:55 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 938
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court.
These are things people actually said in court, word * for
word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the*torment of staying calm while* these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

* Q: What is your date of birth?
* A: July fifteenth.
* Q: What year?
* A: Every year.
* --------------------------------------------------
* Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the * impact?
* A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
* Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your* memory at all?
* A: Yes.
* Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
* A: I forget.
* Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
* Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
* A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember* which.
* Q: How long has he lived with you?
* A: Forty-five years.
* Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you* when he woke up that morning?
* A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
* Q: And why did that upset you?
* A: My name is Susan.
* Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies* in his sleep, he doesn't* know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
* Q: Were you present at the time your picture was* taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was* August 8th?
A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
* A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to* a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I always dress when I go to work.
---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school* did you go to?
A: Oral.
---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I* was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you* check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was* alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A:* Not unless he was out practicing law somewhere.
RRDon is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-08-2001, 02:52 PM
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 5,474
ROFLMAO!! The last one is a freaking riot.
RCjohn is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-08-2001, 07:08 PM
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,355
Red face

Oh geez Don.......
These are great!!

katana600 is offline  
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-08-2001, 09:33 PM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 468
Thanks, man, that was hilarious!!
Rossco929 is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2001, 07:35 AM
Join Date: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,517
Thumbs up

Those are great!!
HondaNut! is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2001, 06:58 PM
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 296

LOL! I think that some lawyers have a script made up in their mind and they just blurt it out without even hearing the response or even themselves! Yeah, that doctor was terribly wrong for not realizing that people can live without brains! This kind of goes to show the lengths that prosecuters will go to get a conviction...sad....
tech32 is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome