How to speak about WOMEN and be POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK -
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER -
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY -
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She is not DUMB -
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND -
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She is not an AIRHEAD -
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY -
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY -
She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS -
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU -
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE -
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
How to speak about MEN and be POLITICALLY CORRECT:
He does not have a BEER GUT -
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER -
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING -
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -
He has SWINE EMPATHY.