Australians Explained - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-05-2005, 07:41 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
cookeetree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 7,448
Australians Explained

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or, just conceivably, a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves. Or really stinky sandshoes.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". Your enemy on the other hand, is "a bit of a bastard"

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively we are just really bad at remembering names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but more so to neighbourhood mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that just happens to have the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.

19. The poisoning of Phar Lap remains the purest example of what happens when Australians attempt to take on the outside world.

20. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine, but then spend all night drinking the host's beer. Don't worry, he'll have catered for it.

21. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred
kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

22. When tipping in a restaurant, we add 10 per cent, and then round down to the nearest large-denomination note. Yet, miraculously, we still believe we tipped 10 per cent.

23. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. Or at least not acted upon. You should take everything. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you are not trying.

24. Unless ethnic, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or fence-leaning is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

25. Out in the bush, the tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

26. A flash sportscar driven by a middle-aged man does not incite envy as in America but hilarity.

27. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.

28. When on a country holiday, the motel neon advertising the pool will always be slightly larger than the actual pool.

29. The men are tough, but the women are tougher.

30. The chief test of manhood is one's ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.

31. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".

32. There comes a time in every Australian's life when one realises that the Aeroguard is far, far worse than the flies.

33. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one says "cobber".




In God, we trust; all others must provide data.

Last edited by cookeetree; 04-05-2005 at 07:44 PM.
cookeetree is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-05-2005, 08:00 PM
Registered User
 
sisqo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Woodlands, TX
Posts: 1,849
Send a message via AIM to sisqo
Re: Australians Explained

Quote:
Originally posted by cookeetree
1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.



Holy shit!! Its "Aussies Un-leashed"!

You have the right to remain silent and errrm open your legs furrr me. -drunk friend and oblivious female-

Last edited by sisqo; 04-06-2005 at 05:29 PM.
sisqo is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 06:50 AM
S370HSSV 0773H
 
spicersh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Terrible Hole, IN
Posts: 7,437
Send a message via Yahoo to spicersh
Re: Australians Explained

Quote:
Originally posted by cookeetree
1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or, just conceivably, a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves. Or really stinky sandshoes.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". Your enemy on the other hand, is "a bit of a bastard"

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively we are just really bad at remembering names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but more so to neighbourhood mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that just happens to have the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.

19. The poisoning of Phar Lap remains the purest example of what happens when Australians attempt to take on the outside world.

20. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine, but then spend all night drinking the host's beer. Don't worry, he'll have catered for it.

21. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred
kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

22. When tipping in a restaurant, we add 10 per cent, and then round down to the nearest large-denomination note. Yet, miraculously, we still believe we tipped 10 per cent.

23. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. Or at least not acted upon. You should take everything. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you are not trying.

24. Unless ethnic, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or fence-leaning is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

25. Out in the bush, the tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

26. A flash sportscar driven by a middle-aged man does not incite envy as in America but hilarity.

27. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.

28. When on a country holiday, the motel neon advertising the pool will always be slightly larger than the actual pool.

29. The men are tough, but the women are tougher.

30. The chief test of manhood is one's ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.

31. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".

32. There comes a time in every Australian's life when one realises that the Aeroguard is far, far worse than the flies.

33. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one says "cobber".
Maybe we should all quote this really big ass post just so we can add a smiley.

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomanical, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
spicersh is offline  
 
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 07:25 AM
Strength and Honor
 
kanwisch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Central IN
Posts: 6,144
Re: Re: Australians Explained

Quote:
Originally posted by spicersh
Quote:
1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or, just conceivably, a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves. Or really stinky sandshoes.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". Your enemy on the other hand, is "a bit of a bastard"

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively we are just really bad at remembering names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but more so to neighbourhood mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that just happens to have the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.

19. The poisoning of Phar Lap remains the purest example of what happens when Australians attempt to take on the outside world.

20. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine, but then spend all night drinking the host's beer. Don't worry, he'll have catered for it.

21. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred
kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

22. When tipping in a restaurant, we add 10 per cent, and then round down to the nearest large-denomination note. Yet, miraculously, we still believe we tipped 10 per cent.

23. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. Or at least not acted upon. You should take everything. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you are not trying.

24. Unless ethnic, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or fence-leaning is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

25. Out in the bush, the tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

26. A flash sportscar driven by a middle-aged man does not incite envy as in America but hilarity.

27. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.

28. When on a country holiday, the motel neon advertising the pool will always be slightly larger than the actual pool.

29. The men are tough, but the women are tougher.

30. The chief test of manhood is one's ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.

31. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".

32. There comes a time in every Australian's life when one realises that the Aeroguard is far, far worse than the flies.

33. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one says "cobber".
Maybe we should all quote this really big ass post just so we can add a smiley.
That, sir, is a preposterous idea!

Ya gotta quote the quoter

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

Dragging knee is for the track, and dragging tail is for the lot. --Kane Friesen

When you're in a car, you're watching a movie; when you're on a bike, you're in the movie. --Robert Pirsig

Identity theft is not Fun
kanwisch is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 10:35 AM
Dad
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh Pa
Posts: 4,230
A similar expression I've heard from a Texas buddy referring to a Bullshitter. "All hat, no cattle."

Keeping the "Hap" in "Happy Holidays"!

Regime change begins at home.

Blind patriotism is worse than no patriotism.
Dad is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
cookeetree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 7,448





In God, we trust; all others must provide data.
cookeetree is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 05:25 PM
Registered User
 
sisqo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Woodlands, TX
Posts: 1,849
Send a message via AIM to sisqo
Re: Re: Australians Explained

Quote:
Originally posted by spicersh
Maybe we should all quote this really big ass post just so we can add a smiley.
In your presence Scott, I am enable to make a mistake without hearing about it .

-click------click-..............DELETED!











Scott my feelings are really hurt, ban yourself please.

You have the right to remain silent and errrm open your legs furrr me. -drunk friend and oblivious female-

Last edited by sisqo; 04-06-2005 at 05:28 PM.
sisqo is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 05:39 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,173
Australians

Is it summer there when it's winter here?

Does toilet water really spin the other way over there?
sidewaysducati is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 06:18 PM
S370HSSV 0773H
 
spicersh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Terrible Hole, IN
Posts: 7,437
Send a message via Yahoo to spicersh
Re: Re: Re: Australians Explained

Quote:
Originally posted by sisqo
In your presence Scott, I am enable to make a mistake without hearing about it .

-click------click-..............DELETED!











Scott my feelings are really hurt, ban yourself please.
That is what I am here for, to point out other's shortcomings.

Don't take me too seriously, I was just givin' ya shit. I've been doing it to Tippmann for years.

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomanical, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
spicersh is offline  
post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 06:58 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
cookeetree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 7,448
Re: Australians

Quote:
Originally posted by sidewaysducati
Is it summer there when it's winter here?

Does toilet water really spin the other way over there?
1. Yes.

2. Never noticed, but I think it does.




In God, we trust; all others must provide data.
cookeetree is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome