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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 06:58 PM Thread Starter
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Question How old is too old?

First off, let's keep this ON TOPIC!

with that said.....


What are your thoughts on dating someone much younger than yourself (12-16) yrs in age difference.


And for you sick bastids, that doesnt mean Tippmann gets to date a 5 yr old.

I have a buddy that is 33 and is dating a 19 year old, but she is a mature 19 not a materialistic one. He feels weird about the age gap, but is in love with her.

How would you guys and gals handle it?

I am looking your views on generation gaps, physical stamina, public opinion,maturity, common interests,..... personal experiences if they have any?

How would you feel about outsiders and how they see it?

Thanks!

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 07:06 PM
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I think a 19 year old and a 33 year old is fine, and that their relationship is their business and as long as they are happy, go for it.

But I will say that I think most women go through a major life change between the ages of 18-23, usually college-age. A lot of growing up is accomplished, a lot of life-altering circumstances happen. Just something to think about.

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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 07:57 PM
 
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Spicerke makes an excellent point, IMO. It can't work out unless both parties are at a point where they 'know who they are', to borrow a tired hippy cliche.
It's not so much about the number of years of the gap, but about where the parties are as far as developmental progress.
That said, IMHO, anybody who seeks out someone who is a lot older than they are *MAY* have some issues. These things don't exist in a vacuum, it's not like "Oh, well, love is blind, can't help who ya love, blah blah blah."
From what I've seen and heard on the issue, people, particularly women,(not all, but a good deal of them) who have relationships with much older people tend to have a few issues, maybe with daddy, maybe with something else. (Before you call me an old square and flame me, remember, I said "*MAY*", and "not all")
IMO, It is also pretty difficult for folks with this big a gap to have similar experiences, or interests, for that matter. What do a 33 and 19 year old really have in common? A hobby, a TV program? From my own limited experiences, relationships both with 'buddies' and romantic interests tend to be most rewarding when people are of relatively similar age. There is just a lot more for you to talk about, and the experiences of the parties have probably been similar, having grown up in the same era.
As far as public opinion, I don't see that as an issue. Society is so packed with 'free thinking free spirits', I don't think anyone would give you flak over it, except maybe fundamentalist radicals.
The other thing is: What does "mature 19 year old" mean? IMHO, that's kind of like when people say "I'm a sexual person" to justify acting out sexually, or philandering. A 19 year old can only be *so* mature. There is definately a 'maturity ceiling', especially for folks under 21. These sorts of labels are cop-outs so that people can act as though the mold was broken when they were made, and the world just doesn't work that way. People want to act like they can't help where they are in life, when in reality, your situation is a direct result of your actions, or in some cases, reactions.

In proofreading this post, I realize that I sound like an old-time square uber-conservative. Ah well, what're ya gonna do? I can't help it, they broke the mold when they made me.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 08:07 PM
 
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 04:33 AM
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There's seemingly two angles here that have been suggested.

1) Personal lives are just that, personal. And the majority of people probably don't give a rat's patootie what the age separation except where legal statutes come into play.

2) The likelihood it will work out seems small. Her you, inexperienced age automatically suggests she has quite a bit of growing up to do, regardless of her "maturity".

I think I agree with both, but can't think of any personal acquaintences that fit so the second point seems to be total supposition (though logical, in hindsight). As long as the elder party recognizes the reality of major life shifts in her age group and he's willing to risk that, why not?

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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 07:53 AM
 
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I am weary of a 5 year difference much less 14. If she was in her mid 20's at least, It might be a different story.
As for passing opinion, Its their buisness, not mine.

Sidewaysducati:
What Kind of issues do men who seek older women have?



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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 11:54 AM
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I see no problem with the dating aspect. But I would have to look down the road. How will a 50 year old woman feel when her husband is 65? What if they decide to have kids. How will that be on them?

I don't see a problem with the dating though.

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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 12:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tippmann
I see no problem with the dating aspect. But I would have to look down the road. How will a 50 year old woman feel when her husband is 65? What if they decide to have kids. How will that be on them?

I don't see a problem with the dating though.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 01:03 PM
 
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That huge of a age difference then someone has a problem.. I would have to agree with the majority that the 19 yr old just needs to grow up.. I dont seem to figure out what the 33 yr old is doing with her.. It can be her daddy for god sake..

I donno maybe im just a little outta hand but i would say anything over a 10 yr old difference in age then somethin is goin wrong..

I gotta give dibs to the 33 yr old for tappin that though!
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 01:40 PM
 
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My take, as a clothesline psychologist....



Her...Daddy didn't pay enough attention to her when she was growing up..



Him...He's "poaching".....or looking for a trophy for bragging rights...



I will BET MONEY that it won't work out... :-|


Flame away..... :-)


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