Stolen jokes (bad) - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2004, 07:47 AM Thread Starter
Strength and Honor
 
kanwisch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Central IN
Posts: 6,144
Stolen jokes (bad)

Warning, these jokes are bad.

But they made me laugh, so they're worth sharing:
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
too high."

15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

Dragging knee is for the track, and dragging tail is for the lot. --Kane Friesen

When you're in a car, you're watching a movie; when you're on a bike, you're in the movie. --Robert Pirsig

Identity theft is not Fun
kanwisch is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2004, 01:36 PM
Registered User
 
Tippmann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 5,373
Send a message via AIM to Tippmann Send a message via Yahoo to Tippmann

Quote:
Originally posted by sidewaysducati
SWIPE THE CARD GRANDMA!!!
SWIPE THE GODDAMNED CARD!!!!
WARNING
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...... Tyler
Tippmann is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2004, 02:32 PM
Dad
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh Pa
Posts: 4,230
Once upon a time there were two Chinamen.
Now look how many.

Keeping the "Hap" in "Happy Holidays"!

Regime change begins at home.

Blind patriotism is worse than no patriotism.
Dad is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-09-2004, 06:01 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 627
too funny and my whole family enjoyed them
R6steve is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2004, 04:43 AM
S370HSSV 0773H
 
spicersh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Terrible Hole, IN
Posts: 7,437
Send a message via Yahoo to spicersh
I almost choked on my cereal at #12!


SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomanical, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
spicersh is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-10-2004, 10:39 AM
Registered User
 
sisqo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Woodlands, TX
Posts: 1,849
Send a message via AIM to sisqo
Quote:
Originally posted by spicersh
I almost choked on my cereal at #12!

.......amatuers
sisqo is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome