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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 05:19 AM Thread Starter
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401K retirement plans

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling price, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.


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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 04:53 PM
 
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Re: 401K retirement plans

Quote:
Originally posted by monkey
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling price, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Outstanding! I knew I was right.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 05:16 PM
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Wow, very informative monkey. Thanks

Although i gave up drinking to afford food, it's still good to know.

Quote:
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SWIPE THE CARD GRANDMA!!!
SWIPE THE GODDAMNED CARD!!!!
WARNING
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...... Tyler
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 07:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tippmann
Although i gave up drinking to afford food, it's still good to know. [/B]
Whats wrong with you Tipp, didn't you know that a 12oz beer is basicly a sandwich in a can. Figure it being on fresh thick dark bread if your drinking Guinness.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-24-2004, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by ErichTheRed
Whats wrong with you Tipp, didn't you know that a 12oz beer is basicly a sandwich in a can. Figure it being on fresh thick dark bread if your drinking Guinness.
In my town we don't have guiness on tap. And usually not in bottles either. We have watered down miller light and coors light. I'll start drinking again in 6 months or so when I'm able to get another 20 pounds on.

Quote:
Originally posted by sidewaysducati
SWIPE THE CARD GRANDMA!!!
SWIPE THE GODDAMNED CARD!!!!
WARNING
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...... Tyler
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-26-2004, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tippmann
In my town we don't have guiness on tap. And usually not in bottles either. We have watered down miller light and coors light. I'll start drinking again in 6 months or so when I'm able to get another 20 pounds on.
Trust me, after years of research (fairly extensive), beer is the way to go if you want to put on 20 more pounds!

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-26-2004, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by spicersh
Trust me, after years of research (fairly extensive), beer is the way to go if you want to put on 20 more pounds!
the heavier the beer the better off you are

SQUID=Stupidly Quick, Underdressed, & Imminently Dead

Katie has a nice "spice rack".

If you can read this, thank a teacher....If you're reading this in English, thank a Veteran.
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