Now, this is what I call a wonderful Government plan to
detect terrorists. For all my female friends, I request
that you let me know if you plan to participate so I can
choose where to set up my chair. If enough of you decide
to follow the plan, I may even make a schedule so that I
can share equally with all of you the pleasure of
Here is the Government program.
President Bush has asked all Americans to unite
together in a common cause to root out terrorists
hiding in our midst.
The Taliban cannot stand nudity and consider it a
sin to see a naked woman who is not one's wife.
Therefore, on Thursday, July 4, our FOURTH OF JULY,
at 2 PM EST, all American women who live in
residential communities are asked to appear in public
completely naked for one hour to help weed out
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for
this anti-terrorist effort. All men should position
themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses
to prove that Americans believe it's OK to see other
Also, since Taliban disapprove of alcohol, men should
display a cold six-pack beside them as further proof
of anti-Taliban sentiment.
Send names and addresses of non-participants in this
public display of female nudity and male beer drinking
to CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia.
The United States of America appreciates your efforts
to root out terrorists and applauds your efforts.