Why Motorcycles are better than Women! - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 09:23 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 67
Why Motorcycles are better than Women!

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

Enjoy,

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2000 miles.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
KillaRide is offline  
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 09:28 AM
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 391
Mabey I should show this to my wife. Or, um, mabey not!
BanditBoy is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 10:12 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 182
That was great!!!

I don't think my fiance will be reading that one though!!

Gimpdiggity is offline  
 
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 11:17 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,188
So true, so true..........

....but you forgot a VERY, VERY important one.

You don't have to pay child support or alimony to the motorcycle when you get rid of it.
desmo079 is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 01:19 PM
elo
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,698
Wink I think this proves that Motorcycle, not humas are the perfect species

WHY MOTORCYCLES ARE BETTER THAN MEN:

o A motorcycle won't get you pregnant

o A motorcycle won't mind hiding in the garage when your mom comes to visit

o Motorcycles only whine or leave wet spots when something is really wrong

o A motorcycle won't care if you go for a ride on a friend's motorcycle

o If your motorcycle is too loud, you can fit it with a different muffler -if you really want some peace and quiet, all you have to do is hit the kill switch

o Your parents won't have a fit if they find out that you're riding a black motorcycle

o If your motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to argue politics or social issues with it

o When you go for a ride, you and your motorcycle will always arrive together

o If you get bored with the bike you've got, it's no big deal to trade it in for something with a bigger bore and a longer stroke

o The average four-stroke motorcycle will only need a head job every 50,000 kms or so to keep it performing

o A motorcycle knows its capacity, and will never drink any more than you give it

o If your motorcycle gets too soft and spongy, you can fit new shocks

o After a ride, you don't have to reassure your bike that it was
MAGNIFICENT to prevent it sulking for the following 48 hours

o Motorcycles don't expect you to give up your life and stay home to look after little motorcycles

o A motorcycle doesn't know how to say the words 'diet', 'dermabrasion' or 'liposuction', let alone suggest any of them

o Your motorcycle won't ever flush the toilet while you're in the shower

o And it won't leave the seat up, either

o A motorcycle will never want a night out with other motorcycles

o Motorcycles don't get upset about having their performance discussed at the bar

o Motorcycles will never say "If you loved me, you'd do it"

o Your motorcycle will not go for a ride without you unless you decide to hand over the keys

o Motorcycles don't constantly need to prove to other motorcycles how big and fast they are

o Your motorcycle will not wake you up at 3.00 a.m., breath alcoholic exhaust in your face and say, "Let's go for a ride!"

o Motorcycles don't brag about how many owners they've had

o If you don't really feel like going for a ride, your motorcycle will not angrily demand an apology and an explanation

o Motorcycles don't drool and make puerile comments when you dress in leathers

o If a motorcycle backfires, it won't try to blame it on the dog

o And when you bring your new motorcycle home for the first time, it won't rush back down to the bike shop to tell all the other motorcycles about the trip

o My Motorcycle has never let me down.

o A Motorcycle never leaves the seat up.

o A Motorcycle will go as fast as I want, as long as I want without finishing before I'm ready.

o A Motorcycle will let you ride as many times in one day as you want.

o Your Motorcycle won't get embarrassed for making noise right along with you.

o You are always in control without having to hear any complaints or grumbles, and it doesn't have to be fooled into thinking it is in control.

o It doesn't care what position you choose.

o You are always in control without having to hear any complaints or grumbles.

o Motorcycles go with your mood.

o You can ride a motorcycle and it will last longer than a man.

o Motorcycles keep going until you have arrived together.

o Your bike doesn't care what time of the month it is.

o Your bike doesn't have a spare tire.

o Motorcycles are better then men because they don't make you do something perverted just because you are wearing leather.

o Motorcycles are better than men because they have a kill switch.

o Motorcycles are better than men because there is nothing quite like having nothing but horsepower throbbing between your legs.

o When motorcycles spring a leak the only place it splashes is on the road.

o When you grip a motorcycle with your thighs it doesn't think you're being kinky.

o Motorcycles will never tell you it's time to stop riding and settle down.

o Motorcycles can't get you pregnant.

o Motorcycles know when it's too cold to ride. Motorcycles don't ask you to cook dinner.

o Motorcycles don't roll over and pass out after you've gone for a ride.
elo is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 02:01 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,188
Re: I think this proves that Motorcycle, not humas are the perfect species

Quote:
Originally posted by elo
WHY MOTORCYCLES ARE BETTER THAN MEN:

o A motorcycle won't get you pregnant

o A motorcycle won't mind hiding in the garage when your mom comes to visit

o Motorcycles only whine or leave wet spots when something is really wrong

o A motorcycle won't care if you go for a ride on a friend's motorcycle

o If your motorcycle is too loud, you can fit it with a different muffler -if you really want some peace and quiet, all you have to do is hit the kill switch

o Your parents won't have a fit if they find out that you're riding a black motorcycle

o If your motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to argue politics or social issues with it

o When you go for a ride, you and your motorcycle will always arrive together

o If you get bored with the bike you've got, it's no big deal to trade it in for something with a bigger bore and a longer stroke

o The average four-stroke motorcycle will only need a head job every 50,000 kms or so to keep it performing

o A motorcycle knows its capacity, and will never drink any more than you give it

o If your motorcycle gets too soft and spongy, you can fit new shocks

o After a ride, you don't have to reassure your bike that it was
MAGNIFICENT to prevent it sulking for the following 48 hours

o Motorcycles don't expect you to give up your life and stay home to look after little motorcycles

o A motorcycle doesn't know how to say the words 'diet', 'dermabrasion' or 'liposuction', let alone suggest any of them

o Your motorcycle won't ever flush the toilet while you're in the shower

o And it won't leave the seat up, either

o A motorcycle will never want a night out with other motorcycles

o Motorcycles don't get upset about having their performance discussed at the bar

o Motorcycles will never say "If you loved me, you'd do it"

o Your motorcycle will not go for a ride without you unless you decide to hand over the keys

o Motorcycles don't constantly need to prove to other motorcycles how big and fast they are

o Your motorcycle will not wake you up at 3.00 a.m., breath alcoholic exhaust in your face and say, "Let's go for a ride!"

o Motorcycles don't brag about how many owners they've had

o If you don't really feel like going for a ride, your motorcycle will not angrily demand an apology and an explanation

o Motorcycles don't drool and make puerile comments when you dress in leathers

o If a motorcycle backfires, it won't try to blame it on the dog

o And when you bring your new motorcycle home for the first time, it won't rush back down to the bike shop to tell all the other motorcycles about the trip

o My Motorcycle has never let me down.

o A Motorcycle never leaves the seat up.

o A Motorcycle will go as fast as I want, as long as I want without finishing before I'm ready.

o A Motorcycle will let you ride as many times in one day as you want.

o Your Motorcycle won't get embarrassed for making noise right along with you.

o You are always in control without having to hear any complaints or grumbles, and it doesn't have to be fooled into thinking it is in control.

o It doesn't care what position you choose.

o You are always in control without having to hear any complaints or grumbles.

o Motorcycles go with your mood.

o You can ride a motorcycle and it will last longer than a man.

o Motorcycles keep going until you have arrived together.

o Your bike doesn't care what time of the month it is.

o Your bike doesn't have a spare tire.

o Motorcycles are better then men because they don't make you do something perverted just because you are wearing leather.

o Motorcycles are better than men because they have a kill switch.

o Motorcycles are better than men because there is nothing quite like having nothing but horsepower throbbing between your legs.

o When motorcycles spring a leak the only place it splashes is on the road.

o When you grip a motorcycle with your thighs it doesn't think you're being kinky.

o Motorcycles will never tell you it's time to stop riding and settle down.

o Motorcycles can't get you pregnant.

o Motorcycles know when it's too cold to ride. Motorcycles don't ask you to cook dinner.

o Motorcycles don't roll over and pass out after you've gone for a ride.
I can't argue with any of that elo, but doesn't it put your husband in a rather bad light???
desmo079 is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 02:10 PM
elo
 
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Posts: 1,698
Wink

I think this thread puts EVERYONE in a bad light!
elo is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-27-2002, 05:16 PM
 
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Posts: 200
motorcycles have an OFF switch.
schpreck is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-28-2002, 08:56 AM
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-28-2002, 09:14 AM
 
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Posts: 482
I so expected a good comeback for this thread. My fav didnt fail me.
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