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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 06:15 AM Thread Starter
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A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.
He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9 inches high and sets him on the counter.
He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart!
'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
'I will grant you one wish.. Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!'
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want A million bucks!'
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they just keep coming, duck after duck after duck!

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your Genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'
'No kidding!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?'
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 06:20 AM
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Lol, I hadn't heard that one before. Good one.

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
-Will Rogers
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 06:39 AM
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And old joke, but still funny!
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
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An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

'So what do you think about that Doc ?'

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'

'As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if

it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'

'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said ,
'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else

pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied , 'My point exactly.'

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 08:18 AM
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Guy bring a sheep into his bedroom and says, "this is the pig I have to sleep with every night when you have a headache, or are too tired."

His wife says "Thats not a pig, its a sheep."

Guy says, "I wasn't talking to you."

"Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal."

"Hold my beer, watch this"

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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-02-2008, 12:23 PM
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lmao man you guys are digging up the oldies today, huh?
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