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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 06:35 AM Thread Starter
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Jokes of the Day

Michigan humor....


If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will
swim by, you might live in Michigan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan.

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.


Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN/MICHIGANDER when:

"Vacation" means going up north on I-75.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

Y! ou know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

Down South to you means Ohio.

A brat is something you eat.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

You go out to fish fry every Friday.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

You drink pop and bake with soda.

Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.

You know what a Yooper is.

You think owning a Honda is Un-American.

You know that UP is a place, not a direction.

! ;You kn ow it's possible to live in a thumb.

You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends


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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." -- Albert Einstein

They told me to follow my dreams...Too bad they were all NiGhTmArEs!

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 06:36 AM Thread Starter
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." -- Albert Einstein

They told me to follow my dreams...Too bad they were all NiGhTmArEs!

AIM - poorboy721
Yahoo - e_donahue2001
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 07:13 AM
 
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You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.





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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 07:45 AM
 
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Quote:
Originally posted by Headlight
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN/MICHIGANDER when:

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

You go out to fish fry every Friday.

You think owning a Honda is Un-American.

You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
just thought I'd point the ones that apply to texas...



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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 07:48 AM
 
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OMG- that's funny shiat!
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2006, 08:40 AM
 
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Quote:
Originally posted by Headlight
Michigan humor....

You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

This one is definately true, 30 degree's this morning and I still rode to work because it's the first day in 3 weeks I've been able to get through the mud and potholes of my road.

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-26-2006, 11:51 AM
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Nun

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a
chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there is nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I"m single and I'm Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says, "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

If its a penny for your thoughts and you are putting in your two cents, hey someone's making a penny.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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