Detroit driving tips for superbowl guests - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-03-2005, 06:42 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 966
Detroit driving tips for superbowl guests

Detroit Driving Tips for Super Bowl Guests

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray.

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can only be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too. Schoenherr is pronounced CHAY NER.Gratiot is pronounced, GRASH IT.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and Southfield freeways are a way of life. Just deal with it. There are two seasons in Detroit. Winter and construction.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are from out of town.

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright sissy. Don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars.

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is not ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.

13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better have a map.

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left,go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. Now you have gone left.

6 mile turns into McNichols
8 mile turns into Baseline
15 mile turns into Maple.
16 mile turns into Big Beaver (exit 69 off I-75...) and becomes Metro Parkway somewhere along the way.
17 mile turns into Wattles
18 mile turns into Long Lake
19 mile turns into Square Lake
20 mile turns into Hall Road and then something else before it becomes M-59
Main street starts as "Main Street" and turns into Livernois for no apparent reason.
If someone tells you to take "75 South to Detroit" make sure you merge onto
375 or you'll end up in Toledo.
GPZRider is offline  
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-03-2005, 06:55 PM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 56
Wow - I wish someone had given me this when I moved down here! People don't drive like that in the North unless they're fudgies. I was scared to death to drive in this area. Now, I'm dismayed to realize that I've become "one of them". Ahhh!
Churchgirl is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-03-2005, 06:58 PM
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,324
I thought you were one of a kind.

I do not think that anyone would think of you as being part of a "them."
fasterbusa is offline  
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-03-2005, 07:04 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,234
The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds.

16 mile turns into Big Beaver (exit 69 off I-75...) and becomes Metro Parkway somewhere along the way.

Don't forget about Quarten down in the Bloomfield Hills area!

One time I was asking Onstar for Directions and she says, "It's on Gratiot" but she pronounced it Grate E Most people don't even try Schoenherr!!

This is a great post...and so very true!

636Jen is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 08:01 AM
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,415
I love it, being one of the outsiders coming in and living in the area for over a year, I really appreciate these and it made me laugh pretty hard too. Good find Gary
CruiserErik is offline  
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