The Truth about Scooby DOO
> Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo from their early
> childhood, right? But something we may not remember is what the
> was really all about. As I've gotten older, it has become more
> me what Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were actually doing
> traversing the continent, foiling crimes of all sorts in the Mystery
> Machine. What we remember:
> Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in
> purple and green van solving mysteries of all sorts-and in the
> meet all kinds of interesting people.
> The Truth:
> Four high-school dropouts and their sentient dog ride around the
> in their psychadelic love machine, earning their way by selling
> Occasionally they take some old guy's mask off to solve a mystery.
> may be a little hard to swallow, but let's take a look at the
> Take Shaggy. Not only is he the inspiration for the current 'grunge'
> scene, with his sloppy dress and facial hair, but Shaggy is
> 'burner', i.e. he smokes marijuana. Why do you think he is constantly
> Shaggy can make a six foot hoagie and swallow it whole.
> Consider Scooby. While dogs do not generally smoke joints, Scooby
> his 'high' from Scooby-Snacks, which are in fact Hash-Brownies. The
> facts bear this out: Whenever Scooby or for that matter Shaggy eat a
> Scooby-Snack, they go ape! It just blows their minds and they do
> whatever they are told, because they are so lit! Scooby is also
> all the time.
> The other characters do not actively take part in the stoner-fest
> Shaggy and Scooby do, but selling the drugs helps support their
> across the country (and the world; they drove to China once). These
> characters do have their own peculiarities however...
> Take Fred and Daphne. They are always splintering off from the group
> go 'solve the case' by themselves. It's no real mystery what these
> are really doing-they're getting busy in the back of the Mystery
> Machine. Daphne with her pretty pink, well, legs and Fred are
> constantly doing the nasty. Fred, by the way is clearly pumped up on
> steroids. One thing that remains a mystery to me though, is why he
> always wore that stupid scarf around his neck. Hickies? We may
> Consider Velma. Everyone's least favorite of the cast, Velma was, of
> course, a lesbian. As it turned out in the later episodes, she was
> into beastiality. How else do you explain the appearance of
> Scrappy-Doo? Scrappy, who was a dog yet spoke perfect English, was
> obviously a product of Velma and Scooby.
> Hmmm. Let's review. The kids spent their teenage years driving
> the world in a custom van, smokin' dope, shooting steroids, eating
> brownies, and humping their brains out, sometimes with their dog.
> And they say modern TV's bad.