Ha ha ha - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 09:46 AM Thread Starter
OPP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,855
Ha ha ha

Subject: This is not in the Atkins Diet Book

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary studies," we can report the following activities burn up the exact number of calories. Please make a note of this, because it will not be repeated any time soon.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories



PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories


POSITIONS:
Missionary........................................ .12 Calories
69 lying down...................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories


ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................13 15 Calories


POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over....................................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.......................................... ........32 Calories
In a hurry............................................. ........98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories
OPP is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 10:52 AM
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 427
Such a pig

PrincessJeni is offline  
post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 11:18 AM
Best ET 7.77 @ 186mph
 
DreamRyder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: West of Chicago
Posts: 6,323
Send a message via Yahoo to DreamRyder
LAMO....

Italian Chandelier that sounds scrumptious can anyone paint a picture of this position

E.
still laughin at the wife at the door calorie burner

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

If it's too good to be true... then you must be Dreaming.


ONLY FEMALE WORLD WIDE to run in the 7's with a Prostreet Bike (no bar, slider, 2step, or slicks)


Sponsored by: RCC Turbo, Bellman Oil, Syed Leathers, Schnitz Racing, Boost by Smith, Cycle-Tek, Tiger Racing, Machine Works Racing, R&R Trailers by RandPCarriages.com, Mirror Look Customs, Rev'd Up Motorsports, and ofcourse SportBike World !
DreamRyder is offline  
 
post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 11:21 AM
Registered User
 
ManousoZX12's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: GPP, MI 48230
Posts: 211
This is awesome. I'm going to print it and put it in my wallet. Should come in handy...
ManousoZX12 is offline  
post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 11:47 AM Thread Starter
OPP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,855
S H O R T J O K E
A golfer stood over his tee shot for the longest time, looking up, looking down, figuring the wind direction and speed. This of course was driving his golfing friends crazy. "Hurry up," they shouted, "Hit the darn ball already!"
The meticulous golfer says, "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse, so I want this to be a perfect shot."
"Impossible!" one of the other guys replied. "There's no way you could hit her from here!"

Hmm, wanna go golfing princess?
OPP is offline  
post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
OPP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,855
hmm?
Attached Images
File Type: jpg lostdog2_1.jpg (41.2 KB, 80 views)
OPP is offline  
post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 12:02 PM
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 427
Quote:
Originally posted by MrOrangePants
S H O R T J O K E
Hmm, wanna go golfing princess?

You finally found some balls, huh?
PrincessJeni is offline  
post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 12:07 PM
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 963
Oohhh.. SOunds like love is in the air.. Nice pic Dave..
ChoCha is offline  
post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 12:08 PM
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 427
Quote:
Originally posted by FurryChoCha
Oohhh.. SOunds like love is in the air.. Nice pic Dave..

No that's just OPP's ass....he forgot to wash it this morning
PrincessJeni is offline  
post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-27-2004, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
OPP
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,855
speaking of asses
Attached Images
File Type: bmp ass.bmp (359.4 KB, 37 views)
OPP is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome