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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 07:19 AM Thread Starter
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The chicken and the road

Why did the chicken cross the road?


BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.



OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.



JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.



ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.





BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash........reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 07:48 AM
Some days are like this.
 
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 07:48 AM
 
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Roflamao

Heisenberg: It is impossible to determine both the direction and the speed at which the chicken crossed the road. In fact the chicken may have both crossed and not crossed the road at the same time.

Schrodinger: Until we know for sure, we must assume that the chicken exists in a state of crossed/uncrossed flux.

Ernest Hemingway is the best one...lol



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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 07:48 AM
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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LMAO! Awesome..
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-19-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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Vash's are good, mr quantum theory
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-20-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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JOHN MADDEN: The the the chicken took a step back to see the road, found the hole and cut to the right for a screen pass, then then then a juke fake out to the left of minivan, and BOOM, in the zone before you know it for a touchdown
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