How to pick up a beach chick ... by Legend - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 02:04 AM Thread Starter
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How to pick up a beach chick ... by Legend

I'm starting a new venture called "Cheap Chick Pickups". It's specifically designed for guys with no money.

Here's an examples of how to pick up Chicks at a beach resort town like Phuket, Thailand.

Picking up the Beach Chick .. by Legend.

We all think the same thing when we see a beautiful girl in a bikini at the beach: “What can I do to see those last four square inches of covered skin?” The answer is within your grasp if you follow my body language tips.

Set Your Stage
Don't strut up and down the beach like a peacock. Instead, build an oasis on the sand and let the women flock to you. Stake out your spot on high ground so you’re visible to passers by and appear in control of the area. Lay down a solid color blanket -- women subconsciously associate bold stripes and patterned prints with children. Once you’ve established your perimeter with the blanket, men will respect the borders of your territory. That means you won’t have to worry about any muscle-bound meatheads trying to horn in on your game.

Meet Her Needs
Everyone at the beach needs three things: sunscreen, water, and shade. Bring some different SPFs of sunscreen, a cooler full of water bottles, and set up an umbrella (again, no stripes, patterns, or logos). But don't sit in the shade: it creates a psychological boundary between you and everyone else on the beach. Recline in the sun and when you make eye contact with a girl, say hello and give a warm smile. Then offer her some water and a piece of shade -- now you've given her two good reasons to linger. Ask if she needs any sunscreen, but don't try to put any on her, you Legend wannabe, unless she asks for your assistance.


Talk Like A Prophet
Scoping the scene with shades on is fine, but take them off once you start talking. Make sure to position yourself between your conversation partner and the sun. This will allow you to keep eye contact without squinting, plus having the sun behind you casts you in a slightly more confident and almost spiritual light, without being overbearing.


Read Her Bikini
Women may not be wearing much at the beach, but what she's got on can speak volumes. The hottie in the day-glo thong is starved for attention -- both yours and everyone else on the beach. Before you approach, consider whether you want to be with a person who's going to make you number two in every situation. Solid black or solid white swimsuits are favored by classy, sophisticated women. On the other hand, a girl in floral print is usually outgoing, kind, and a little maternal. Pick your favorite or try something new -- after all, you're on vacation.


Catch Some Waves
Striking out on land? Take to the ocean -- the most social spot on the beach. If you're a surfer -- or even a new bodysurfer -- approach a girl and ask her if she'd like to learn. Even if your skills are sub-par, you'll both have fun trying. You and a buddy can also strike up a game like Frisbee that invites group participation. An "accidental" gentle bumping into while diving for a catch can be all you need to bring a girl or two into the mix. Failing that just start underwater fanny grabs. You might get lucky.


Mix Well
Women are rarely alone at the beach, so your best bet is to meet a trio because there's enough of them to not feel threatened, but they're open to newcomers. Steer clear of large groups of women, particularly if they look like co-workers or part of some social club. They are man eaters as well as an established clique and you'll always be the outsider. If you find a co-ed party or beach barbecue, ignore the ladies at first. Instead, befriend the men first by joining their beach volleyball game or with guy talk ("So, is that a T-bone or a ribeye you're grilling?"). Once you've blended into the party, you're free to start hitting on their chicks.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 04:53 AM Thread Starter
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Coming next week. How to Pick up Your Best Mates Bird in Leather.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 06:51 PM
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and the third in the series will be
" how not to get torn a new arsehole in the divorce proceedings"

Ledgend. Just when i thought you were back in the land of the relatively normal you spiral off into idiot city again

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 07:04 PM
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Unemployed??

Have you considered starting a mentor program for the local youth, with such a wealth of knowledge to pass onto the needy, it would almost be a crime not to

If you need a manager, I think I could handle a move over our colder months to a warm beach up your way to help manage the flood of demand

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 09:09 PM
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I think you need a classy pick-up line to get the girls interested.
Maybe something like....."I hope you've taken a dump tonight sweetheart, coz we're gonna need room back there"



I think the gay waiter wants to push my stool in!!
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