GP off season...jokes only ..no pics - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 07:53 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
bigphil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SINGAPORE
Posts: 1,452
GP off season...jokes only ..no pics

So gimme your best boys ..old or new.

3 scouse girls walking down the beach ( scouse girls = livelpool girls = rough and skanky and hard) come across a bloke with no arms and no legs sunbathing.
Have you ever been hugged asks the first? No says the bloke so she gives him a big hug. Have you ever been kissed says the second. No says the bloke so she gives him a big kiss!
Have you ever been farked says the 3rd. No says the bloke.
" You will be when the tide comes in" she replies.

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
bigphil is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-09-2006, 06:13 PM
Tug
Moderator
 
Tug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: What day is it?
Posts: 1,253
Pig

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, his wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep.
Tug is offline  
post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-10-2006, 12:13 AM
Registered User
 
FlymoJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 77
Wink Scousers !!

little girl says to her scouse mum doing the washing up........."mummy why are your hands so soft"

Mum replies.......... "because I'm 12"
FlymoJoe is offline  
 
post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-10-2006, 01:18 AM
Registered User
 
Silva Bullet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Singapore
Posts: 560
Bowling Joke

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

Bullet
"Here's to alcohol, the cause of many—and solution to—all life's problems.
Silva Bullet is offline  
post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 05:30 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
bigphil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SINGAPORE
Posts: 1,452
So the Mrs asked me what i wanted for my birthday?

I told her i wanted something that goes from 0 to 120 in two seconds.

So she bought me some bathroom scales

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
bigphil is offline  
post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-04-2006, 04:30 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
bigphil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SINGAPORE
Posts: 1,452
Mornin girls
Attached Images
File Type: jpg image001.jpg (67.6 KB, 120 views)

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
bigphil is offline  
post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-11-2006, 09:25 AM
Registered User
 
Gixxer_Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,518
Response

Dear my BMW rider,

Like all BMW owners, you are a knob with a small tool, it's no wonder your wife is going elsewhere for some action.....

Yes I got the joke and liked it but these pretenders are worse than the Harley weekend riders and I had to respond

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Gixxer_Dave is offline  
post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-12-2006, 11:06 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
bigphil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SINGAPORE
Posts: 1,452
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.

They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completly packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge enormous ones on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him...they kiss....and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling "Well how was it?"
The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf"

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
bigphil is offline  
post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 07:41 PM
Registered User
 
Legend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Phuket
Posts: 1,330
You may have to be a scot to get this one ....

A scots getting married and he's chatting with his mate about it ...

A says 'I'll be gettin married in me kilt"

His mate askes "Whats the tarten"

He says "I guess she'll be weren white"
Legend is offline  
post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 12-17-2006, 09:42 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
bigphil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SINGAPORE
Posts: 1,452
Heh thats not bad for you Ledge

Happy Christmas boys n girls...Cheers

Had to use my step ladder to change a light bulb cos i don't get on with my real ladder.
bigphil is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome