Me first then ...
Well .... I made the mistake of saving some coffee change by sharing a room with Captain Life Suxs (aka Boycie Boy). He even went was far as saying that he hates the lovely girls that say hi as you enter a plane .. ?? .. the guy has issues, he needs help and lots of it.
After enduring a night of this, it was off to the track for day one, which was practice and qualifying ... and my first attempt at the 'interesting' turn seven and eight to make up the last corners for the 'north' circuit of Sepang. I was so busy thinking how shite I was riding, by the time I got to the turn off section ... I had forgotten we had to ... so nearly farkin crashed into the marker cones ... now THAT would have been farkin funny !!
Qualifying next and thank god I qualified faster than pornstar-I-like-them-at-four Trev and that raving gaylord poofta Captain Pants (aka Sir William Woodhead the Third)... the guy tried to fark with my head by telling me he was racing with no underwear !! .... the lengths some people will go to beat The Legend !! ..... it's hard lads dealing with the attention of fame !!
Next up is the race, and after a horror moment with 1-4 in front for three laps (2002 MSS all over again) .. I was lucky that he took my pribe and let me pass him on turn three and get away from Capt Pants who was stearing at my arse.
Had a fun first race and actually started to enjoy those last two turns. Sometimes being a backmarker has it's perks .... there is no TV that can give you the sensation of what it looks like to have guys that can do 1.11's come round you on turn 5 and tuck back in just inches in front of your front wheel ... they are farkin awesome !! .... cheers for not taking me out lads and hope my fat arse was not too much of a hinderance.
Then up comes turn two and Captain Crash (#100) decides that one crash of both his Ducati then his Merc is not enough, so finds the biggest target he can (my arse) and aims for it into turn two. Fark me if my head didn't hurt doing that backwards one and one half somersalt ... must remember to get more height next time to as to clear the head. Cheers to 1-4 and Pantsboy (and anyone else slow-as-fark that was behind me) for not riding over me while I was acting out a seen from Discover Channels Sea Elephants Sex Rituals.
And finally then, top marks to Johan for getting into the 1.11's before his off, and STILL being chuffed with his weekend, Poledancer for not crashing for a change and displaying a rarely seens demonstration of Scandinavian humour (honest!), McDonalds and Bouncy for going fast-as-fark and The Blue Oyster (previously Silver Splurter) for forgetting his farked knee and getting back on the pace for race two (bet Elaine gave you shite for that) ....
Oh, and as for Elaine. Thanks you my dear for your humble approval of my sexy love pillow (my belly). If you ever get sick of the sickly skinny pinup and want a real man, I am sure my wiffy will let you borrow me for an adventure park ride.