Just for giggles. - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-11-2004, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Inky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Santa Rosa CA 95404
Posts: 1,249
Just for giggles.

One of those emails that all of your friends send you.........



Subject: Smile


If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous
scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had
been

stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things
differently than
many do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his
gems:

1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3- Half the people you know are below average.

4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

9- All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19- I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
horn
louder."

24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
bread.

29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

research.

30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be
on
it.

33- Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

Well behaved women rarely make history.

I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.

www.inkycellstattooco.com
Inky is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-11-2004, 01:07 PM
Registered User
 
Ebbs15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Elmendorf AFB, AK 99503
Posts: 645
Thumbs up

Very cool!

~Ebbs
Ebbs15 is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-17-2004, 07:35 AM
Registered User
 
Judge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I heart Lou_Brakant
Posts: 2,254
Send a message via AIM to Judge
too funny

Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front of the bike and oversteer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the bike. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall, torque is how far you take the wall with you
Judge is offline  
 
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-17-2004, 09:21 AM
S370HSSV 0773H
 
spicersh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Terrible Hole, IN
Posts: 7,437
Send a message via Yahoo to spicersh


He's awesome! A few others I remember of his:

-I bought some powdered water the other day, now I don't know what to add

-If you are travelling at the speed of light and you turn on the lights, do they work?

-I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in the same room to let them fight it out.

SportbikeWorld Supermoderator

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomanical, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
spicersh is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-17-2004, 09:33 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Inky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Santa Rosa CA 95404
Posts: 1,249
I'm all about #25!

Well behaved women rarely make history.

I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.

www.inkycellstattooco.com
Inky is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome