Telling the Rents. - Sportbike Forum: Sportbike Motorcycle Forums
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 08:07 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 460
Telling the Rents.

From you experenices how did your parents take you getting a bike. I have in the passed mentioned to my parents that I would like a bike and they have said stright up no and its not a good idea.

Anyway here is my situation, I'm out on my own 100% they don't support me in any monteary way. I live about 8 hours from them. I have to go to my home town this comming up weekend to fight a ticket I got in my truck back in November. Also I have to go back up to NY for my mom retierment dinner a few more weeks from now. So I'm going to take the bike on this trip, espically with gas the way it is.

Just trying to figuer out what is the best way to tell them and what things I can say to them to let them know that this is something I enjoy.

A little more background Dad has two goldwing in the garage right now, he only ride once in a while but both of them used to ride just about everyweekend. Dad and I used to ride dirt bike togeather, Dad also took me on many trips on the goldwings.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 08:54 AM
Join Date: Oct 2003
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You'll just have to be honest and first let them know you are now riding a motorcycle regularly (primary transportation?). Part of the problem will be that you are on your own now, and they may still occasionally pull out the "parent card". They only have power to tell you what to do as long as you let them. Also, if they are providing any funding for anything you are involved in, they can always pull that from you if you don't do as they wish. If they have (or do) ride, they must have some safety concern with how responsible you'll be, and not with motorcycling in general. You need to show them that you are grown-up and will be responsible. That also means that you will have to grow up and be responsible (if you aren't already). Don't be a squid and don't get tickets, because those are the things that will prove to them you are not adult enough to ride by yourself unsupervised. Since your Dad rode with you before, I have to believe he thinks it is cool to ride, but maybe for you, not without his supervision. He has to be convinced (and your ma) that they have little or nothing to worry about now that you have grown up and take this seriously. Good luck and hope that helps.

Last edited by scanevalexec; 05-16-2004 at 09:22 AM.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 10:10 AM
Join Date: Jan 2002
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I am befuddled that you have not told your parents sooner or even as you were seriously thinking of getting into m/cing.

Obviously m/c riding is in the blood of your family what with Mother & Dad riding Goldwings, with him taking you out on rides & the dirtbike riding.

My parents never rode a m/c or had any interest in m/cs yet at 15 yrs of age they knew I was into m/cing.

True one is, my father forced to retire due to a heart problem & HE asked me if he could ride a vintage LE Velocette I owned at the age of 55 & & rode it till 61 yrs of age.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 10:32 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 460
I really didnt decide to get a street bike untill late last summer about the time I joined the board here. At time I was 25 now I'm 26. I have only one speeding ticket that I'm going to go fight in NY that is the reason for going up there this weekend and telling the parents. Sometimes things go astry and we will see how this ticket works out 80 in a 55. That is in my truck. Hopefully I can get it reduced and it will not affect my insuracne rates to much. As far as the rest of my driving reccord its not perfect but. I have never had any points, couple of accidents I had where other fault and no fault.

I have a weird relationship with my parents. We seem to have differnet views on a lot of things. One of the reasons why I could not stand living with them at more at the age of 25.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 01:46 PM
Join Date: Aug 2003
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My parents never negotiated at all it was either yes or no. Neither of them have ever rode or been a passenger on a bike ever. I had the money for a bike in Highschool from cutting grass and bricklaying. They said no and I respected that.

Fast forward 5 years i am now financially independent and do what i want. I got my bike and gear between my monthly visits up to their house. I just pulled up on my bike and walked in with all my gear on unannounced "i have a key" .

Well my mom cryed a little and it was over in 30min instead of some week long debate.

Since then i taught my dad how to ride a bike and my mom in a church parking lot. They are totally cool with it now, they just asked that i give them a call and say hi after a long ride.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-16-2004, 07:59 PM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 232
My dad got me into it because I couldn't afford to buy a car and my parents didn't want to buy one for me. So he taught me how to ride his bike that didn't get much use until I got to it. Otherwise I don't think that I would be riding today.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 09:58 AM
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Having my parents in another part of the world, i really didnt bother telling them i got a bike. I think i mentioned it later, but it was well understood that if there was an objection, i wasnt going to listen to it. what can i say, we are far from a close family. Yours seems like it is, and so i do not recomment my approach.

Instead of telling them you have a bike, maybe you should start by telling them about your "new" jacket. you know the one that has all the armor to protect you from pavement. after all i am sure their main concern is your safety, and if you can assure them you arent looking to get yourself killed they'll just have to live with you making your own decision.

Good luck with your ticket, around here they dismiss the first one, and after that offer an option of paying times an a half and having a 30 day "probation" period. if you get no tickets during that time, you have nothing on your record. i am on my second probation period in 5 years.
dont know if you can get anything like that around there, but good luck anyway.

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 01:34 PM
Join Date: May 2004
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Hehe, I don't think I would worry abot it riding is in your blood.

Luckily I never had to worry abot "The Talk" My father got me my first bike 50cc I think when I was 4. "Against my mothers conscent"

I've been riding ever since. I am now 32
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 05:54 PM
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 271
I was 36 before I got my first bike and still caught hell from my mother, despite the fact that my brother owns one and has for many years. Her big reservation was that it was a sportbike, whereas my brother has a Honda Shadow; a nice bike, but not for me. She's a beautician and had talked to someone who's hair she had cut that had said "sportbikes are dangerous." Well, that was all she needed to hear; seems anything that she hears from a client while cutting his/her hair is gospel.

Anyway, even though you've moved out and are making it on your own, it sometimes takes many years for some parents to stop relating to their offspring as children. Let's see, I moved out and got married when I was 24, had the first kid at 27 and I can still remember them having trouble treating my wife and I as adults. It's 10 years later now; I think they finally figured it out sometime between the 2nd house and the 3rd kid. Her parents weren't as bad, though. They may not have agreed with everything we did, but were certainly willing to let us fall on our faces. They were our mistakes to make and we learned from them.

My point in all of this is, at some point, you have to stand up to your parents and make it clear that you are a responsible adult and can make your own decisions. They don't have to agree with them or even like them, but they do have to live with them. That's more easily said that done for some people, I know from experience.

If I were 25 or 26 as you are now, EdgeRanger, I'd gear up and ride the thing right up to the back door. Don't act as if you are seeking their permission, because that puts them in control of the situation. Just make it clear this is part of who you are. If they have saftey concerns or whatever (part of why I said gear up) address them. Don't go in looking for a fight either, though, because you don't want the situation to explode on you.

I mean, if you'd bought a new sports car, would we even be having this conversation?

Does any of this help?

Last edited by hapster; 05-19-2004 at 04:37 AM.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 06:59 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 460
Thanks guys for all your advice. I'm guess I'm more worried for them and how they will react to it. I know there isn't anything they can do about it. I guess I'm just looking to make the best of it and not have them worry, and not give them a heart attack. I beleive that the time I will be getting home, only my dad will be home, I hope that way it will be just him to talk to first and I think becuase he still rides a little bit not much he will be more understanding then mom. I'm not sure I may let him tell mom and not be there when he does it. We will see again thanks. I guess I'm just nevous for them. IDK this is very weird, i guess it kind of freeks me out more then reading about people getting messed up on bikes and what not.
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